I have a lot of interests. Too many in fact. I suffer from “I-want-to-do-it-all-and-I-want-it-right-now”-itis. As a result I have this horrifying habit of overloading myself and piling way too much on my plate—sort of like taking what Jewish mothers do at the dinner table. I want to volunteer, I want to cook, I want to keep up on my blog, I want to get my advance certification in clinical trials, I want to go to grad school, I want to go to yoga teacher training…I want. I want. I want. God how annoying. Anyway one of the things I also love to do is act but I have the hardest time ever admitting that to people. For one thing I worry that it seems like I cheapen my day job, which I love, as something I’m not passionate about. I would hate for employers or anyone else to think that I treat my role in curing cancer as something to “pass the time” until I get discovered. I love science and I love what I do so I hate to mention this other passion of mine because people then assume that I must not actually want to work in clinical trials.
Also I’m blonde. A tiny, little blonde girl who looks like every other tiny little blonde girl to ever move to Los Angeles. I can just hear the cliché clicking into place whenever I admit to someone that I have a passion for acting. Though in my defense my hair is strawberry blonde so I’m not quite the bleached out bimbo that personifies the ultimate Hollywood Wannabe…right? The worst part is that wanting to do any sort of acting at all gets you lumped in with the celebrity grabbers and the money grabbers and this idea that you have daddy issues and didn’t get enough love in your childhood. I love them for loving me and they love me for loving them…and that’s cuz we didn’t get enough love in our childhoods.
The thing is my desire to act stems from the earlier problem I mentioned. I really want to experience everything this life has to offer and unfortunately that’s almost impossible. Almost. I say almost because that’s the big allure acting has always offered in my mind. You get to be anyone and who you get to be changes from one day or week to the next. You might spend a few weeks on broadway playing an orphan girl and then switch to the most villainous woman in the land poisoning her step-daughter. You might get to play an astronaut in one film and go to NASA space camp to train for the role. The next you could be hacking away trees in the Amazon for a eco-thriller. The range of experiences that actors get to have, all while exploring the multifaceted human psyche is something I have always coveted. It’s why I would, given the change, want to pursue a career doing exactly what I want to do: everything.
As a child playing imagination games wasn’t something I did just because my family was too poor for video game systems. It wasn’t something I did just because there was nothing else to do. It wasn’t even something I did because televisions shows told me to—which ha, that always made me laugh. I did it because it was acting even if there was no audience to see it. And as for my passion in science? Well one of my favorite little stories to play out with my cousin was this:
I was a mutant, like on the x-men, with a brilliant scientific mind and powers over plants and the weather but ONLY in the rainforest. I lived my days in my treehouse cultivating plants to develop cures for diseases all the while battling forces of evil trying to destroy the fragile ecosystem of Brazil. (I really had a thing for Brazil when I was little…and the rainforest) I could summon rainstorms and grow exotic plants which produced rare chemicals all while I raced to find the cure for the mysterious illness killing off my mutant brethren. An illness that may have been genetically engineered by those in the government trying to remove us from the planet….
Then at some point I felt like my little fantasy was too “girly” because having an interest in mutant powers wasn’t for girls unless it was “feminized” and I felt like making my powers based in plant life did just that. Defiant to the end to be a girl-empowered kickass I soon became enamored instead with astronomy and spent most of my years thinking I wanted to be a space station engineer. I still kind of wish I had pursued that but my natural talents fell more toward microbiology so one day I said “fuck it I love biology and it’s insulting to insinuate it’s a feminine science.” Thttp://rollingsreliable.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=3403&action=edithen I discovered biotech which let me merge both sides of the science together in that much love/hate field of genetic engineering. Wow this tangentalized pretty quickly.
Anyway my point is: I love acting because I love getting to explore all my interests which are varied and exponential. Give me a week and I’ll have another handful of things I’ve discovered/read/found that I want to learn about. My brain and my heart are greedy things looking to get a grasp on any human experience possible. Acting is the vehicle to do this. But that’s not what people hear when I say “Oh well I’m also an actress.”
Then of course there’s the modeling. That really is just about getting to wear the clothes. What? I’m not allowed to have a superficial side too? Kind of like these muffins. They aren’t particularly healthy or good for you but they taste delightful. They are somewhat lower in cholesterol since the recipe doesn’t utilize eggs but it does have a fair amount of butter. You could easily veganize it if you liked by replacing the butter with a non-hydrogenated butter substitute. It’s also very stiff, dry dough so don’t be alarmed when mixing if it seems too thick. This is likely (I didn’t write this recipe so I’m only guessing here) because the strawberries you add to the batter have a high water content. It’s why strawberries are very rarely used in recipes because that can be quite difficult to work with. In this case they hydrate the dough during baking so you end up with some very tender, moist muffins in the end. These are proof that you can marry something as basic as a muffin recipe, with something as sublime as a strawberry and get a perfect union as a result. I only hope that my passion for something as cliché as acting and my passion for science and using my brain can someday do the same thing and shock the world in a way that these will shock your tastebuds: delicious, sweet goodness.
Strawberry Blonde Muffins Read more