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Posts tagged ‘definitely not kosher’

Mar 1

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SciFriday: Something like a recipe, Bacon-bits and my creation!

From my heart and from my hand, why don’t people understand, my intention?

What’s this? What’s this?

Last Saturday one of my favorite authors was at a local SciFi bookstore – and holy crap did you know entire bookstores dedicated JUST to that genre existed? Anyway so this author, Seanan McGuire (aka Mira Grant from my Zombie-back ribs) performed a reading of her short story that is part of a larger anthology titled “The Mad Scientist’s Guide to World Domination: Original Short Fiction for the Modern Evil Genius”

I know right?!

Book Signing!

Book Signing!

It’s a fantastically awesome anthology theme and the stories most certainly support it.  I can’t say I’m totally impartial about which one is my favorite so I’m not going to dive into that too much but rather speak about the event which focused quite a bit on the field of “Mad” Science.  As a scientist in a highly disputed field, biotechnology, I often would have debates with people both in and outside the science world about this one question: if we can do it, should we?  It seems to me that quite often in both stories, and real life, when the scientist ignores the second part of that question is when things get a bit “mad.”  Sometimes it’s a deliberate ignoring of consequences and sometimes it seems to be that the brilliant mind is so divested from reality, he or she can’t see that what is happening is wrong.  In those situations the scientist is so convinced that their intentions are noble, that the ends are so important, the means hardly matter.  In my tiny little opinion that’s where the “mad” part of mad science creeps in.  It’s almost like a fever that takes over and clouds the ability to make sound judgment calls.

While it’s highly exaggerated in fictional form, there are a lot of real world scary “mad” science things we could be doing today that are prevented only by morality.  We could, for example, clone a human being.  Today.  We have the technology.  The implications of such an act are what keeps scientists from doing it.  Rumors have emerged from time to time that China has done it – you choose to believe what you want there—but I don’t doubt that someday, someone somewhere, will toss consequences over his/her shoulder and actually make it happen.  Which leads to another interesting question about this kind of “fringe” science: if we can do it, shouldn’t we do it since someone else will and at least doing it first means we can control what happens?  Oh another delicious, delectable moral qualm that makes for amazing pieces of speculative fiction.  I wonder how often this was discussed by the members of the Manhattan project.  I really need to read more about that…. Damn it goodreads list, why do you keep growing??

My biggest frustration though with “mad” science is how often things get labeled as “Frankenscience” when the truth is so few people really understand the science they fear.  Oh god.  See right there?  That can definitely be the refrain of someone who is “going mad” can’t it?  But it has some truth to it.  Like I said I majored in the field of Biotechnology and get very frustrated with people who hold strong opinions on the subject of genetically engineered food yet understand almost nothing about it.  These individuals would most certainly call me a mad scientist for supporting certain applications of the technology—or for my personal desire to develop luminescent trees to line streetwalks with.  Aside from how freaking pretty that would be, it’s like the ultimate form of green energy.  Oh and yes  I THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE SEEING AVATAR OKAY?  Ironically enough, while we could clone a human being today, developing these trees is still outside our realm as I currently understand it.  Many people are familiar with GFP, green fluorescent protein, which could work but requires a black light to be seen.  From what I’m aware of, experiments that utilize luciferase (the protein that lets fireflies light up) have failed to produce enough protein to make any impact without overloading the cell machinery and killing the plants.  Again though I haven’t looked into this in a few years and I really should read up on it.

Okay new mad science project: time machine for the purposes of reading.

But back to the book, it’s fantastic and it’s certainly been helping me cope with a lack of good mad science-y television since Fringe left me.  There’s nothing remotely close now on regular programming to scratch that itch.  I feel like the show left the table without asking to be excused and so, much like a beloved scene, I demand Fringe return to the table.  Why?  I made some Peanut Butter Bacon Sandwiches damn it.  Now there’s some REAL mad science

WALTER: Megif avagin frim dim Tish.

LINCOLN: Excuse me?

WALTER: It’s Yiddish. It means “May I please be excused from the table?” No, you may not.

LINCOLN: Why not?

WALTER: Because I have just made some peanut butter and bacon sandwiches.

Not to be an underachiever I didn’t simply fry up some bacon and slap it onto a sandwich.  Oh no.  I decided that this application should be far more like peanut butter and jelly.  So what did I do?  I made Bacon Jam.  Why?  BECAUSE I CAN.

Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.  This stuff can be slathered on anything.  It can go in frittatas.  It can be eaten straight with a spoon.  I do really love it with some chunky peanut butter in the end; it’s just so damn tasty.

Olivia’s Mad Bacon Jam

An Olivia Original Read more

Dec 10

National Lager Day

Lager ClamsYou may have noticed a lack of post on Friday…or not.  I was super burnt out by the end of last week and could not bring myself to even log onto a computer most of this weekend.  Highly unusual for someone who thinks her belly button would function nicely as an usb port and actually a little worrisome.  Basically I need to focus on my apartment hunting with reckless abandon because this commute cannot go on much longer for someone as hyperactive as me.  It just can’t.

Continuing with my “break the chain” mode I’m in at the moment, today’s recipe will NOT be a muffin.

**Gasp** No muffin you say?  What in the world can preempt the most simple to make, fast to bake, idiot proof quick bread around?  No one thing can possibly be that important.  Okay that last bit is a bit much don’t you think?  Anyway regardless it’s not just one thing: it’s National Lager Day and a big batch of clams.  Delicious, lager steamed clams to celebrate America’s favorite beer.  Now it all makes sense doesn’t it?

Lager Clams 2

As I am sure I’ve mentioned in the past, I’m not really a big lager fan.  I prefer ales—specifically ales of the dark and nutty variety.  Still a good lager can have its place on the table or even better yet, in the kitchen, where you actually will have need of the subtler, less yeasty drink. Like say when you are cooking a delicate yet flavorful shellfish that needs to be complemented but not overshadowed.

So here are some quick and dirty facts about Lager.  I should give it a proper once over as part of my beer series but like I said, there’s a reckless abandon with which I’m doing my apartment search that is limiting how much time I have to spend on these posts for the near future.  I’ll do my best to make it up to the brew (and you!) in the future:

  • America’s most popular beers (Miller and Bud) are both lagers and have a high “drinkability” score.  Lager Clams 3Drinkability refers to how easy it is to get a consumer to have more than one beer.  Lagers in general will rank higher on drinkability because their less aggressive flavor, and in the case of cheap lagers “wateriness”, makes them easier on the stomach.   An extreme opposing example would be Guinness—a very dark ale that is extremely filling.  You wouldn’t play beer point with Guinness, or shouldn’t as I learned the hard way back in my college days.  Drinkability is a great way for companies to create a product which they can sell a lot of at a cheaper price hence the great success of Bud and Budlight.
  • Lagers are bottom fermenting beers.  This means that the yeast sits at the bottom of the tank, rather than the top, while it does its business.  Lagers also use a different strain of yeast than ales.  Ales are traditionally brewed with the baker’s yeast Saccharomyces cerevisiae.  Lagers are brewed with Saccharomyces pastorianus.  It’s not hard to remember the name of this yeast when you also know that lager is a bottom fermenter.  Har Har potty humor Har.  This is just the basic though as yeast strains are often toyed with for beer production and in fact, guarded quite closely.  In another post I’ll get into yeast science a bit more for you.
  • Dark lagers do exist, are more like their bitter ale cousins and are a bit more popular in Germany than here.  If you want to sample one of these varieties try picking up a Dunkel or a Schwarzbeir – meaning black beer.
  • Lagers are subtler in their yeast flavor and are fermented at lower temperatures for longer periods of time.  What’s the benefit to this longer, colder fermentation?  An increase in shelf life time which, coupled with Drinkability scores, is what makes Anheuser-Busch(and Inbev) both brilliant and rich!  It’s also why you can get your 36 pack for the house party much cheaper when it’s a mass produced lager than artisanal small ales.

Lager Clams 4The lager I used in my recipe this week is NOT produce by the mega-conglomerate that currently owns the majority of brewhouses in the world.  Since I wanted to go with a New England vibe for the clams I opted for a classic staple lager that you don’t really find in this country outside of states bordering Canada’s eastern seaboard: Moosehead Lager.  *Note you are required to be able to say you are 21 to enter that website*

Moosehead is a beer I distinctly remembered my mother drinking when we lived in Maine oh all those years back when I was a wee lass of 5.  It’s the product of Canada’s oldest independent brewery and still operated by the same family today.  That might have nothing to do really with the quality of the beer but I have to say, drinking something with that kind of family history really lends a pleasant nostalgia experience to your consumption.  At least I think it does.   Dining is quite different from eating and I’ve found that stories that invoke small town, family hearth kind of feelings really add to the enjoyment of the dining experience for a lot of people.  Food is such an intimate thing—after all how often do we describe it as “made with love”—and so providing that element to the experience really does seem to enhance it.  I do think it’s a superior product to the blue can stuff so I ran with it and this was my resulting meal.  If you can’t find Moosehead, don’t despair, any lager will do really.  The whole point is to lend the flavor of beer without making the dish taste like beer.  You really want the clams to sing in this dish.

Moosehead Lager Steamed Clams

An Olivia Original

  • 2lb littleneck clams (preferred but any clam will do)Lager Clams 6
  • 12oz Moosehead lager
  • 1 Tbsp finely minced shallot
  • 4 Tbsp butter
  • 2 Tbsp chopped parsley

Scrub all your clams and be sure to remove any sand, grit and beards left behind.  Nothing worse than biting into a sandy clam.

In a large stock pot add your butter and shallot over medium heat.  Sweat and bring out that translucent delicious color of the shallots—approximately 8 minutes.  Pour in your lager, clams and chopped parsley and bring the liquid to a boil.  Cover the pot with a tight fitting lid and reduce to simmer for about 5-10 minutes.

Clams are small and delicate—they will cook quickly and become like rubber if you don’t watch it.  Once the majority of your clams have opened remove them from the heat.  A few may still be closed…toss them!  Those were dead clams and you do not want to pry them open to eat them.  Dead clams = bad bugs.  I usually find 2 to 5 in every batch.  If you have significantly more than a handful of closed clams, you might not have let them cook long enough.  Add the closed ones back into the pot and give them another 5 minutes.  Not opening still?  Bad luck.  Toss them.

Serve with the remainder of the liquid and some extra chopped parsley for presentation.  Grate some lemon zest on top if you are feeling citrusy today and sop up any extra sauce with a giant slice of Anadama bread to make it a real New England style feast.

See I told you it was worth giving up muffins for.

Lager Clams 5

Nov 7

Bacon high with Washington Apples

What a night for the munchies.  If you are celebrating in Washington or Colorado you might want to just scroll ahead to a rather token recipe. 

Boy what an election huh?”

My response: “Uh-huh”

My Thoughts: **mentally – don’t talk about politics at work, don’t talk about politics at work**

If only I could be vocal and say what I’m thinking.  Oh, wait, I have a blog!  Guess what folks, since I broke the seal on poli”ticks” as posts, here are my thoughts on two big pieces of news from the election you’ve heard about and one piece of news you probably won’t hear about:

  • Maine and Maryland are now my favorite places for seafood and civil rights.  Not only was it a big deal that gay marriage has been legalized in two more states, slow and steady folks, but that it was done via the ballot box is a huge moment.  It wasn’t a legislative commandment or an issue from the judicial bench.  People, en masse, stood up and declared a vote for equal rights.  It’s pretty powerful to finally see this happen.  I couldn’t be happier about that unless we came in with the small-l libertarian answer on a Federal level: remove marriage from it completely and declare blanket rights to all consenting adults for civil unions in the eyes of the law.  Leave the term “marriage” and all that it means (or doesn’t mean, let’s face it) to the churches, mosques and tentacle-loving cults to define for their own parishioners.   That would be ideal since it would eliminate the squabbling from our political arena altogether and provide a fair ground of equal civil rights to everyone.  I can live with it though if instead we just eventually evolve enough to declare marriage rights to gays in all states.  I personally don’t have any hang ups about the word and its applications.
  • Washington and Colorado are lighting up on the news feed today.  Like totally dude this is gonna be one to watch.  How is the Federal Government going to respond? 
  • Here’s something you probably won’t hear about: I am part of the 1% – as in the 1% of the popular vote that went to Gary Johnson who managed to pull in an excess of 1 million votes.  Why is this big deal?  This is the biggest voter pull for the libertarian party to date and yes that is a very big deal.  Consider that all other third party candidates came in at less than half that number and he raised only $1 million for his campaign.  It’s a drop in the ocean obviously, but to quote a popular film right now, what is the ocean but a collection of drops?  Johnson pulled in over 3.5% of the vote in his home state of New Mexico and surprisingly to me, managed to make his biggest gains in Montana, Alaska and Maine.  I would have expected higher numbers in Colorado and Washington since Johnson is strongly in favor of ending the war on drugs.  A subject I feel quite strongly about as well.  I’m not a pot user, I think the stuff is disgusting, but I think it’s criminal that the stuff is criminal.

So there you have it.  Am I disappointed with the results?  Well of course.  I mean I still think that the voter mentality this election was “vote for the lesser of two evils” for a lot of folk – a mentality that is motivated entirely by fear.  Was I surprised? Not the presidential election outcome.  That one was more or less solid in my mind, even if the race did come much closer on the popular vote than I anticipated.  No I had every confidence Obama was going to win.  I am however delighted and surprised to see a positive move forward in civil rights and common sense.

In the meantime to any readers I have in Washington State (known for being number 1 in apple crops) or Colorado, which I’m sure has apples as well, I present to you something to commemorate your big voter win.  Bacon Caramel Apples.  I’ve had a hankering to make these for quite some time and now they seem so oddly appropriate….

Bacon Caramel Apples

An Olivia Original  Read more

Oct 11

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Aporkalypse Now…?

Did you hear the hoopla last week about the impending Aporkalypse?  According to a report from the UK National Pig association, a global shortage of pork is pending due to droughts killing off crops used as food supply.  American scientists are coming back saying that the fear about a global shortage is baloney and that we’ll be just fine.  While I was certainly swept up in the punny fun of the pig panic, I had my suspicions about the validity of the UK group’s claims.  The more I thought about it the more confused I got since we’d see a larger impact of the drought on cow livestock than pig.    Pigs can and do eat anything.  On a traditional farm they are essentially the ultimate garbage disposal unit.  Factory farms even feed them, and get ready to be squicked out here, but they feed them bits of the cows that we don’t want.

Apparently there is less concern about Prion transmission between ruminants and non-ruminant mammals.  I still think it’s gross and wrong and is why I avoid factory raised food like the plague.  Oh and when I say pigs will eat anything I really mean it.  I walked into a wild pig pen and was greeted by Babe and friends chomping down on my knees.   Fuckers.  I have to say that I’m glad I’m only Jewish because I have no qualms about eating these mean little porkers.  They are delicious and not nearly as cute as we think they are.  Just remember they are domesticated wild boars and those things will rip you apart—just ask Robert Baratheon.  Am I right or am I right?

<soapbox post of the week>

The panic has got people thinking again about food, what we eat and how we raise it.  This Forbes op-ed I read (not very good one to be honest) argues that a shortage of pork would be a good thing because it will eliminate the inefficiency of feeding grain we grow to pigs rather than consuming it directly.  Just one problem with that: the grains we grow to feed livestock are NOT edible by humans.  I don’t know if the author of the piece is aware of that; he makes the current agriculture climate sound a little too simple.  We can’t just suddenly infuse our diets with the grain we’d previously been feeding livestock—it’s not actually a variety that humans can consume.  In fact it’s not actually something that our livestock can consume either which is why they get sick and we abuse antibiotics in factory farms.   The super scary E. Coli strain you have to worry about was cultivated by this antibiotic use.

What needs to be talked about is how entrenched we are in this spiraling system.  Stop subsidizing the corn industry which sends something like 80-90%** of the crop they grow, again remember totally inedible by humans, to be processed into sugar/ethanol/livestock feed.  That means almost ALL of the corn we grow is totally useless to us if the electricity suddenly goes off.   Meanwhile it’s producing: cheap sugar for fast food (which makes us fat and gives us diabetes), food stuff for factory farmed meat products (resulting in beef with higher values of saturated fats, loaded up with hormones and abusing antibiotics—also making us fat and sick) and wasteful, inefficient energy conversion to ethanol.    **Figures all taken from my memory of “The Omnivore’s Dilemma” which you really should read if you haven’t yet.

Anyway if the shortage fear is just a bunch of hogwash (har har har) and it certainly looks to be the case, it was a smart move on the part of the pork industry.  All this chatter is certainly doing a good job at reviving the waning bacon trend that took over food blogs the last few years.  It had become so “2011” to add bacon to everything but lately I’ve had a few fun, Halloween themed ideas pop into my head that I am just determined to realize.  Plus I made this lentil salad recently with bacon and smoked ham hock…ya know, the sort of thing the big bad wolf dreams about.   It’s kind of looking like cat food in these photos :-( but I promise you it tastes great.  In fact despite the fatty swine, it is very light tasting fare thanks to the crunchy celery, red onion and vinaigrette.

Don’t worry, if we ever do run out of delicious pig parts, it turns out the Chinese love pork just as much as we do.  So much so that their government has a strategic pork reserve to serve as a buffer zone for times of over or under production.  If you find yourself facing total mental and emotional breakdown you can always just dig that hole to China and yourself some fried rice with a side of roast Wilbur.  Still I suspect you’re going to see your beef prices go up before the pork prices do.  Maybe take this as a time to start eating a little less meat in general (us Uh-MARE-icans really do overconsume it) and what you do buy, try to get from local farms raising grass fed beef and wild pork.  Better for you, better for the animals, better for the economy and better for the environment.


</soapbox post of the week>

Green Lentil and Bacon Salad
Bon Appetit May 2001

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Oct 5

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SciFriday: Spam, Spam, Wonderful Spam!

I debated posting this recipe because, well, it’s really weird.  I mean, it’s tasty and I’ll eat it if I’m in a junk food kind of mood but it’s, it’s, it’s…SPAM!

Why am I posting a SPAM recipe?  Today is the anniversary of the first ever airing of Monty Python.  Not exactly a scifi show but due its extensive on geek and nerd culture, I think this British sketch show deserves honorable inclusion in the genre.    Plus the SPAM sketch aired in 1970 making this the 42nd anniversary.  See what I did there?  Scifi relevance achieved!

Monty Python has had a huge influence on the world.  Even if you’ve never heard of the show/group (and if you haven’t please tell me what planet you are from) it’s infiltrated your life.  Take for example the Spam sketch…you know that term we use for unwanted useless email that clutters up your inbox?  Well that’s not from the “food” product but actually inspired by the sketch I’m referencing about the food product.  The endless refrain of Vikings singing about their love for Spam and a crazed Hungarian’s ramblings are actually what inspired the adoption of the term.  What’s also named for Monty Python and the crew?  How about the programming language Python, 7 different asteroids, an endangered woolly lemur (named after John Cleese), a prehistoric snake, an edition of Monopoly (but let’s be real, what isn’t an edition of Monopoly these days?), a Broadway musical entitled “SPAMALOT” and the ultimate proof you are a key building block of popular culture: a flavor of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.  Someday I’m gonna have an ice cream named after me.  Not sure what that will be called yet – but it’s going to happen!

This isn’t counting the hundreds of writers—be their output television, printed media, film, stage—who cite Monty Python and specifically John Cleese as their greatest source of inspiration.   My personal hero, Alton Brown, developed Good Eats as a fusion of Julia Child, Mr. Wizard and Monty Python.  Other comedians you may have heard of who owe it all to the British group include: Matt Stone (South Park), John Stewart (The Daily Show), Mike Meyers (um everything) and Matt Groening (The Simpsons).  Oh and there’s that little sketch show that’s on every Saturday Night…live.  Yeah the original crew?  Huge Python fans.

I think the most oft referenced sketch in my house is another one that’s food related but far less appetizing in execution.  The infamous Mr. Creosote and his violent vomit.  How many times have I heard my step-dad call out for “one thin wafer” after eating far too much at dinner?   If you don’t know what I’m talking about don’t watch this sketch before, after or within any time related to dining.  It’s not an easy sketch to digest (pun intended, BAM!) and even director Quentin Tarantino has a hard time stomaching it.  Ha!  Two food puns in one sentence, chew on that why don’t ya?  What’s your most iconic Python sketch?   Tell me in the comments below please!  I’m curious.

I’ll admit that I hurried this recipe along.  I wasn’t in a fantastic mood when I was cooking, it was late, the kitchen was a mess and I really just wanted to go to bed.  Still I had this idea in my head and since I have only eaten this salt-laden pork clay once in my life before, I really wanted to see if I could redeem it in the kitchen.  The long and the short of it is this: you can put lipstick on a pig, it’s still a pig.  You can cover SPAM in an herbed crust and a cognac sauce but at the core it’s still SPAM.  In the original sketch they rattle off an array of breakfast items that contain the mystery meat but one that always sticks out of course, is the lobster thermidor topped with SPAM.  Well I don’t have the budget right now to make this actual dish: Lobster Thermidor a crevette with a Mornay sauce serve in a provençale … garnish with truffle Pate Brandy and with a fried egg on top and Spam.  What I could do was replicate a lot of the flavors that go into the lobster boil as a crust and prepared a cognac cream sauce to serve on top.  It is far from luxury and basically what you are getting is fried spam with cognac gravy but…well it did the trick and scratched my Pythoneseque itch.

Happy SciFriday folks!

Monty Python & The Wham Bam Thank you Spam Thermidor

an Olivia Original Read more

Aug 22

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This little piggy went to temple….

On this day in 1654 – Jacob Barsimson arrives in New Amsterdam. He is the first known Jewish immigrant to America.

I’m Jewish. I eat Pork. I observe Passover. I have blonde hair. I speak Yiddishisms. I never had a Bat Mitzvah. I’m Jew…ish.

Growing up I always knew why we celebrated Hanukkah and the smell of Matzo ball soup was not uncommon. For a long time I knew I was “Jewish” because my mother told me so but that was about it. We weren’t a particularly expressive family in regards to the Jewish culture and the religion aspect never entered the equation. Judaism is often mistaken as being a religion but that’s only a small part of the larger cultural grouping. I’ve known a number of Jews who don’t believe in “G-d” but do still embrace all of the culture. I think growing up my mother didn’t even really understand that there was a distinctive cultural definition of being Jewish–that atheism is easily a part of living life as a Jewish-American. As such I didn’t really get quite the connection to my culture but I knew deep in my bones and my tastebuds that I was a part of it.

This wasn’t really an issue until I hit middle school. I remember this being the first time that someone challenged my identification as a Jew. It was a Christian boy, one my mother was quick to label as anti-semitic and his nasty comments and my mother’s tenacity in the Principal’s office landed him in detention for a while. Looking back on it I find the whole situation a bit messier than it seemed at the time. This boy was friends with the popular Jewish girl in the school and as far as I know, he never harassed her for it, but she “looked” Jewish. The comments confused me at the time, because I wasn’t aware how out of place my blonde hair, blue eyes, flat nose and lack of religious background made me seem. I wasn’t being teased because I was Jewish. I was being teased because I wasn’t Jewish enough.

I’ll admit too that my connection to my culture didn’t really blossom until this time. I didn’t really understand or appreciate where my background came from until I was 12. That this should have been the time I had my official Bat Mitzvah is possibly related. It’s also around the time that I lost my strongest living tie to my culture when both my great-grandparents died. The Laurens (originally Levine but they changed the name to assimilate easier into America and avoid anti-Semitic prejudice) were a kindly couple and I will always remember the way their home smelled. The Mandelbrot, the Matzo balls, the Brisket…oh G-d the Brisket. I’ll also never for the life of me be able to eat gefilte fish. Sorry Nana. It’s no surprise that my strongest memories are of food and smells I guess, considering my love of food. I also remember that Nana was known for saying “If it’s clean, it’s Kosher” and so I always laughed off the idea of cutting pork or shellfish out of my diet. It wasn’t really a big deal to my religious family patrons, so I never considered myself a “bad Jew” for eating bacon.

I think though that the key element to my conscious self-identification as a Jew was reading Maus. That book both changed my understanding of my culture and pushed my love of graphic novels. Kind of funny too since the comic
industry was largely created and driven by Jewish artists and writers. Maus aligned with my first tastes of being picked on for being Jewish and so it terrified me in ways nothing else in this world has. It also added weight to my mom’s chides that “we should be lucky we aren’t living in a ghetto” whenever I complained about chores or not getting things I wanted. Oh Jewish Guilt. No one who ever doubts my “Jewishness” would continue to do so if they heard just a few lines of my mother’s expertise in this arena. (I love you Mom. I say this with love. Please don’t yell at me later….)

Still this moment in middle school, where I was ostracized for not visually conforming to my culture, is only the first in a lifetime of being made to feel as though I live on the periphery of my own culture. The worst being my ex from my first serious relationship. He was relentless in picking on me because I didn’t look or act Jewish enough. So much so that at times the teasing felt cruel and I’m still convinced, though we’re friendly even to this day, that there was something of an accusation in it. Especially when it came to Christmas. I was a traitor, and I’m not kidding in this regard, I was a traitor to Judaism in his eyes because I partake in Christmas celebrations. My family, yes even my Jewish Matriarch, has always enjoyed Christmas. Maybe it was initially because they wanted to assimilate and blend…after all the last name change was designed to hide our Jewish background. Maybe it was because over time there was some “interbreeding” with non-Jews. Maybe it was because the lights on the trees are just so damn pretty or maybe it was because we just wanted an excuse to have even MORE presents every December. I don’t know why specifically, only that I don’t see anything wrong with it and it’s never even remotely factored to me as something that detracted from my cultural standing. Not the case with my ex who at one point told me he was afraid to have children with me for fear of them not having a strong enough Jewish identity. The unspoken end to that sentence of course was “like their hypothetical mother.” I was insulted. I was crushed. I have never in my life been so angry and hurt by someone trying to make me doubt who I am or where I come from. But again that’s why the word “ex” is listed before boyfriend isn’t it?

In college I joined the Jewish sorority and attended events at Hillel and the Jewish fraternity for years. Even so there was still an echoing chorus on a regular basis of “Wait, you’re Jewish?” and this was from Jews and non-Jews alike. I sang the songs at Shabbat didn’t I? I ate the bitter herbs at Hillel’s Seder the year I attended rather than holding my own didn’t I? I had my Star of David necklace, my Hamsa and my Mezuzah on the door frame to the apartment so many had entered. Yet still even my supposed cultural peers assumed that because of my looks and my more assimilated nature that I was just along for the ride with friends who were Jewish. I learned over time not to let that get to me, mostly thanks to the aforementioned ex-boyfriend who thickened my skin. I’ve just gotten used to it. Much like my geeky side and my “naughtysonice” sides…I just am not what I appear to be to most people.

As for why I don’t keep Kosher? I think that mostly just that I wasn’t raised to. I know a number of Jews who don’t keep Kosher and usually it’s just a matter of someone in the family along the way decided that the Kashrut was put in place to avoid bad food poisoning and in the age of modern technology we really don’t have to worry about Trichinella in our bacon. It’s also probably because for those who are non-religious the laws don’t have a sternly fatherly figure backing them up. It’s also because pork and shellfish are delicious. Irony of ironies…that same ex would give me such SHIT for eating “pork” and yet he’d more than happily consume bacon on non-high holy days. His excuse was that bacon isn’t actually called pork. I’m surprised the force with which I rolled my eyes didn’t shake the earth.  Whatever.  He would and will be missing out on delicious things in life like this recipe for a Pancetta wrapped pork loin with a plum chutney.  I do so love proliferation of alliteration in my recipe titles.  Seriously go make this for a delicious Saturday or Sunday dinner.  Your family will “Ooh” and “Aah” and “OH MY GOD OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM” it down.  It’s a beautiful dish that tastes absolutely divine.  I served mine with a simple gorgonzola pepper salad and some cream biscuits.  It was a sight to behold and my stomach was thankful for once that my eyes were so hungry….

Pancetta wrapped Pork Tenderloin w/Plum Chutney (recipe behind the cut) Read more

Aug 17

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SciFriday: Delicious RIB-ulations of a Zombie rising

You will be moaning by the end of this post. I don’t know if it will be out of agony at some bad punning or hunger but it’s gonna happen. I’m also doing my best to be as spoiler free as possible because I want you to go out, read these books and get the same “OH MY GOD” experiences I did. Especially at the end of the second book. Most terrifying, zombie infecting vector ever imagined. I will have nightmares for years….

Deadline: Part 2 of the Newsflesh Trilogy written by Mira Grant (aka Seanan McGuire) is the third book in my Hugo Award challenge. It’s also a fucking amazing, not-so-typical telling of your typical Zombie Apocolypse. I went into this moaning that as a sequel, I actually had two books to read. The first in the series being called “Feed” and I thought oh what a corny title for a zombie novel. I was quite pleased to discover that the title was far cleverer than I originally estimated. How is that? These stories follow the trials and tribulations of a brother-sister team of bloggers in a world where society managed not to crumble despite the constant threat from swarms of the undead. Feed is actually a clever reference to RSS in a world where blogged news media is as essential to life as any food stuffs.

It didn’t take long for me to get hooked.

Since the nominee is a sequel I feel like I should review the series as it stands up until that installment for my review. I have in fact read all three books because Deadline ends with the most insane cliffhanger.  I’m going to avoid bringing the conclusion, and any feelings it may have stirred, into this review.  Well I’m going to try, anyway here it goes the good. the bad, the moan-y.

The Newsflesh world is one where zombies are extremely dangerous but haven’t plunged the society back into the dark ages. We still have a functioning government, infrastructure, electricity and above all else, the internet. Humankind is down but it’s not out and people live what amounts to relatively normal lives. Our main characters are Georgia and Shaun Mason, adopted siblings who spend their days chasing zombies around the California coastline for their blog site. Shaun is an “Irwin” a job title that involves poking dead things with sticks and seeing what happens. Georgia, who prefers the more masculine, George, is a “Newsie” who spends most of her time reporting on factual events, telling the hard truth and the rest of the time reigning in her brother. They work closely with a third character who names herself Buffy (yes after the show, be still my heart) because she’s a 90 pound, blonde cheerleader type but with enough technical genius to architect her own Matrix. The three begin “Feed’ embarking on the news story of a lifetime as they follow a political candidate around the country on his campaign trail, live blogging and fighting zombies along the way. What unfolds over the course of the trilogy is a web of government conspiracy, squishy zombie action and more geeky in-jokes to squee about than you could imagine.

“This is Shaun Mason activating security protocol Campbell. The bridge is out, the trees are coming, and I’m pretty sure my hand is evil. Now gimme some sugar, baby.”

Mahir looked at me with undisguised confusion. “What the fuck was all that about?”

“Single-use phone. I wanted to make sure I wouldn’t activate it by mistake.” – Deadline

In fact Mira has recently released a novella set in the Newsflesh universe set during the beginning of the zombie uprising smack dab in the middle of Comic Con. The title of this particular work just happens to be: “The Last Stand of the California Browncoats” Yeah you can bet your jayne hat that’s on my shortlist of things to read next.

Another big part of what makes these stories so great is the heavy emphasis on bloggers. Newsflesh really captures the essence of the phrase “You can’t stop the signal” and it gives your typical zombie story a completely new flavor and direction.  We don’t often get a world where people can still stream funny cat videos while avoiding having their flesh torn to pieces.  In fact the only reason the human race survived the initial uprising was because a lone doctor took to his daughter’s blog to release knowledge of the zombie virus (in this world a hybrid between a cure for cancer and the common cold) to the general populace. As such each chapter is punctuated by a blog entry from one of the characters in the story. Sometimes it’s an unpublished diary entry, a news post from a “Newsie”, retelling from an “Irwin” about wrestling a zombie bear, or a poem from the third branch of any blog crew known as the “Fictionals”. These little tidbits add to the story by keeping the blogging concept present even as the chapters are more action driven.

Mira’s insight into the state of California enriches the verse as well. I particularly loved and jotted down a note about this line: California is essentially a bunch of smaller states held together by political connections, water rights and the stubborn refusal of any segment to cede the cash-cow name “California” to any of the others. — Feed

California natives or long term residents will find her depictions of Oakland, Santa Cruz and Sacramento spot on and hilarious. Once again I found that like “Embassytown” and “Among Others”, this Hugo Award nominee holds quite a bit of “oh my god, it’s like it was written just for me” elements to it. I’m starting to feel a little paranoid about the nomination committee actually….

Speaking of paranoia let’s get back to the government conspiracy aspect. Give me a good scifi story where people in power are abusing it and I’m there.  I’m not going to spoil much but can I just say this: I have never thought of using zombies as a terrorist weapon until I read these books. When that part happened I just sat back and said “Damn.” My evil genius was crushed to have not thought of it first. What can I say? I like my shiny aluminum hat thankyouverymuch. Tying nicely into my love of conspiracy, these books give governments that like to use fear for control a giant “Fuck You”.   As I wrote in the past few weeks…fuck fear and fuck the people who would use it to control and abuse you.

“The trouble with the news is simple: People, especially ones on the ends of the power spectrum, like it when you’re afraid. The people who have the power want you scared. They want you walking around paralyzed by the notion that you could die at any moment. There’s always something to be afraid of. It used to be terrorists. Now it’s zombies.
What does this have to do with the news? This: The truth isn’t scary. Not when you understand it, not when you understand the repercussions of it, and not when you aren’t worried that something’s being kept from you. The truth is only scary when you think part of it might be missing. And those people? They like it when you’re scared. So they do their best to sit on the truth, to sensationalize the truth, to filter the truth in ways that make it something you can be afraid of.
If we didn’t have to fear the truths we didn’t hear, we’d lose the need to fear the ones we did. People should consider that.” — Feed

The first book, “Feed”, does a great job setting this trilogy up and initially I was describing these books as great summer pool reading. They aren’t insightful or deep in the artsy, “I’d like to thank the academy” kind of way my last two reviews were. What they are is riveting, accessible, clever and with a level of philosophy that’s right on target with my stance on life. In other words, I don’t think these are the “Oscar” winning books but they are akin to the box-office smashes that never get enough credit for being thought provoking because we too often assume works of great meaning can’t also be generically entertaining. I liked The King’s Speech as much as the next person, but you know what I’m going to be watching far more often over the next decade? Dark Knight and while it had tons of explosions it also had some deep psychological shit.  I’m just saying…..

“Deadline” picks up where the first novel left off and it’s not a pretty place. The main cast is dealing with the aftermath of uncovering what was only the beginning of a pretty nasty set of truths. Where George narrated the first book, brother Shaun picks up in the second. This gives the second book a fresh spin and well, Shaun has got some issues by the time this happens. I’m not going to tell you what they are since that would spoil a lot, but it’s pretty fascinating to read from his POV. While the sequel tends to meander a bit more, I think it’s more compelling a read than the first. Like many great sequels it gets a lot darker, a lot more complicated and has the benefit of established background to work off of.

Sadly there are also a few minor problems. The second book does have some slow points. The characters spend a lot of time having to figure out what to do next, where to go and it can seem a little less action driven than the original. This is because by the time you’ve reached this level of the story, the writer has to begin to reveal the man behind the curtain and that involves more talking than zombie killing. Plus the zombies, while terrifying, are obviously not the ultimate big bad. The conspiracy is and conspiracy always means people talking. The upside is that at no point does the telling of it get boring. Shaun is a perfect choice for the first person narrative and Mira’s humor keeps the banter engaging.

I glanced to Becks “Isn’t this the part where you should run screaming?”

“Nah” she said “I’ve got no problem with octopuses. It’s bugs and spiders I don’t like. Octopuses are cute, in their own “nature did a lot of drugs” sort of way.”

“Girls are fucking weird.” — Deadline

If you really wanted me to criticize these books, the one thing that did get on my nerves is something I find often find annoying about serials: the repetition of information. As someone who reads quickly and retains information well, I always found it annoying when authors would need to reestablish things from past books as though I’d forgotten or hadn’t bothered to pick up the first installment. I already know that Darth Vader is Luke’s father, I don’t need a blow by blow recap every time you publish the next part of the sequence. As such I found the constant reminders of things past a bit annoying. This isn’t unique to the books mind you and I find it happens quite frequently in serial novels. The other kind of repetitive crutch is how often George asks for a Coke and Shaun will mention wanting a cup of coffee. It’s quite genuinely mentioned at a rate of what seems like every 5 pages. I want to know when, in the zombie chasing hell they live in, these people pee.

No seriously. If you asked me one thing I’ll remember from these books when I’m a senile bat in my cyber-nursing home, it’s that Georgia Mason always has a can of coca-cola in her hand and Shaun Mason is always seeking out his next cuppa joe. Initially it was annoying but I moved on and came to embrace and be amused by it. If these books are ever turned into a film franchise I think they would do extremely well in that regard. In fact I’m convinced someone must be trying to buy the rights to make the movies right now. It’s too much of a zombie loving time not to make these a film. Hey Mira: keep me in mind when you’re casting for Buffy would ya? Anyway back to the coke thing…my point is, if these books are ever made into a movie, you could turn George’s requests for a Coca Cola into a drinking game. Only problem is that by the end of the second film you’d have enough alcohol to kill your liver and then your zombified corpse would chew off the face of that lame sober friend who hangs out at every party.

The upside to the Coke thing? It inspired a recipe for the most amazing Coca Cola glazed Baby Back Ribs ever made. I mean what screams Zombie more than a rack of ribs right? It came to me while I read the books and I knew I had to develop the recipe myself so this is an Olivia Original. The best part? Mira (or rather Seanan) was at Comic Con this year and she signed my recipe inspired by the books. Oh look here’s a photo of my crazed fangirl grin and the original scribble sheet now signed and laminated by one of my now favorite authors. The ribs are seriously one of my favorite recipes now of all time. Not your traditional BBQ flavor mind you. I tried to use spices that would be reminiscent of what is thought to be present in the secret recipe still held as a corporate trade secret. I also used actual Coca Cola in my braising liquid. The flavor had an almost indian quality to it and as such my mother especially loved these. So please enjoy this Olivia Original for SciFriday and PLEASE read these books. I’m definitely ranking the Newsflesh trilogy as the Hugo Nominee I would be most likely to recommend because I think they are both wonderfully written and more universally appealing than any of the others. That’s not to say I think they’ll win the award, I’ve yet to make up my mind about that prediction, but I do think they would get the popular vote…or at least would were they not up against the cock tease that was “Dance with Dragons”

Coca Cola Glazed Zombabies Back Ribs

an Olivia Original – inspired by Georgia Mason

giving a whole new meaning to the slogan “Life tastes good” Read more

Jul 6

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A Bisque Move

In an incredulous tone of voice: “You’d be willing to move?”

I hear those words from people a lot. They always seemed so shocked if I indicated an interest in a job or other opportunity more than 25 miles, and at times up to 3,000 miles, away from where I’m currently located. My response is always a shrugging smile and two words “why not?”

I don’t understand the intense aversion some folks have to the idea of packing up and seeking out a new life in a new location. Well okay I understand the aversion some people have, it’s not cheap and it’s definitely not easy, but I don’t understand their shock at my willingness to do it.

After all I’m relatively young and have no major responsibilities in my life. I have a dog who would depend on me but that’s it and dogs are easy all things considered. I really don’t have any excuse not to move if given the right job opportunity. To be honest I really don’t have any excuse not to move now even without the right job opportunity. If I want to move, this is the time in my life when I can take that wild leap. I’m not tied to the community in the cultural wasteland that is Fairfield and really most of my friends are far and spread around the nation anyway.

I think a big part of my nonchalance and disconnect to people who think it’s a big deal is the fact that I moved around a bit as a child. Not so much to qualify myself as a gypsy but what I’ve discovered in life is that a number of people grew up in one, maybe two houses total until the age of 18. Fewer still ever left the city they grew up prior to college and a fair number settle down after graduating and move very few times after that. A number of people I know still live within 150 miles of where their family is. Strange to think that in such a small world these days with technology and cheap travel, people still stay fairly close to home center.

I grew up on the east coast; far flung from the west shores I currently haunt. When I did live on the east coast we moved a fair number of times. I was born in the far reaches of New England known best for lobster and Stephen King. Shortly after turning 5, and two houses by that time, we’d moved to Virginia where I would attend 4 primary schools and live under another three roofs. When I turned 13 my family trekked the entire expanse of the contiguous US only to turn around and move to a second home within a year of that journey. I guess I’m just used to non-permanence and I don’t find upheaval quite as daunting. For a long time I was jealous of the kids who had the same bedroom from toddlerhood through high school but now I find there is great utility in being undaunted by the thought of new walls and unfamiliar kitchens.

Well okay, maybe not undaunted by a new kitchen. Having a kitchen you are comfortable in is rather nice. Still I like the adventure of exploring somewhere new and finding joy in a comfy nook or the goofiness of a badly designed cabinet. That’s not to say I want to be a nomad for my entire life. I’d definitely like to find somewhere to establish myself and my hope is to do that soon. I’m just not averse to doing it 300 or 3,000 miles away right now. I would love a chance to go back to the east coast or move to L.A. to be nearer to some of my cosplay companions. I also wouldn’t mind finding a quaint, one bedroom in San Francisco to hang up my coats in. I just need it to come with a job that lends some permanence, an opportunity to grow and I’m down to plant seeds that sprout roots.

Another advantage to having lived coastally like I have is my exposure to both coastlines for food. Whenever west coast raised people wonder why I’d possibly want to go back to New England, the naughty Jewish girl in me devilishly responds in one word: shellfish. Nothing beats Maine for the plethora of crab, clam and superior lobster meat that it produces. California may be pretty snazzy with the sushi front but good shellfish? That’s just impossible to find, especially on a budget, outside the rocky shorelines that produced some of the greatest murder thriller novels of all time.

Serve it up with some toasted jewish rye bread. You won’t be sorry you did.

Still that didn’t stop me from attempting to make this Havarti-Crab Bisque back on Father’s Day. It was a delicious sounding recipe that combined something I love more than almost any other foodstuff on earth (Crab) with the Danish cheese called Havarti. Havarti is an interior-ripened cheese, whatever that means, and has a very soft texture at room temperature. It is strong in flavor, like Swiss, and buttery with a nut (hazelnut) finish. In my experience it is sweeter rather than dry and often comes in flavored batches. Dill Havarti being especially popular. My other big preference would be caraway–another east coast flavor I find lacking solid representation along the Pacific. There really are NOT enough Jewish Delis in the SF Bay Area region.

This place back in my college hometown just announced that it will be closing down. The first thought in my head was “that would be a great spot for a Jewish Deli/Bakery” and then “I should open one” and then “with what money you crazy girl?” Still with all this talk about settling down and making roots, there are worse places than Davis…..

Soup Time!

Dill-Havarti Crab Bisque Read more

May 31

Addicted to the Hustle and Brussel

Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us…

I’m worried I have very serious mental problem.  I think I’m only really satisfied, really happy, when I’m being pushed to my breaking point.

I mean I hate it.  I cry, I scream, I have nervous breakdowns and yet….the only time I think I’m really satisfied is when I’m fully engaged and battling on all fronts.  Otherwise I just don’t feel like I’ve stretched enough.  It’s a masochistic urge to need to constantly test myself to the point of breaking because I need to prove that I won’t break.  And then?  Then I need to go even further.

Is there a medical term for this kind of behavior?  I could see a potential for this kind of pattern to be linked to Reward Deficiency Syndrome.  It’s an underlying genetic defect in a dopamine receptor thought to lead to addictive behavior when an individual can’t self-regulate a feeling of well-being.  Most addictive personalities be it alcohol, drugs, food, sex or gambling are thought to be caused by this underlying genetic deficiency for dopamine regulation.  I wonder if it’s possible that my pattern of overloading to see what I can conquer, subsequently releasing “good feeling” hormones when I succeed, is the product of a cascade failure in my brain.  It certainly seems related enough to me on the surface to thrill-seeking endeavors; gambling for example is about hedging bets and the thrill comes from the potential to fail.  So too does the sense of accomplishment I get after being shoved with my back against the wall and fighting my way out.  There’s no glory in accomplishing goals if the negative outcome doesn’t exist.

Work has been really, really tough the last two weeks in case you couldn’t guess.  I’ve just taken on quite a lot and am juggling what feel like an increasing load of flaming batons.  It’s not even anything that important.  I’m not going to save the world, or even a life, with what I’m working on these days. Today though, as I finally begin to put some order back into the world I’m existing in, I find it somewhat intoxicating.  Is this stress induced frisson normal?

I really enjoy being the anti-loki, a fighter against entropy, and every time I take a disordered system and can impose an order on it, make it work, make it shine even, I get such a thrill.  Perhaps this is what turns someone into a “workaholic” and the same kind of feelings of triumph of adversity, always needing to increase the workload for the next time, are what work-addicted folks experience.

Speaking of workaholism…it’s hard to find time to make dinner most nights after I get home.  I leave work at 4 but still don’t get home and done until closer to 6pm and that’s nights I *don’t* go to yoga.  As such I usually end up making simple meals, heavy on vegetables that I can chow down after spending relatively little time cooking.  These brussel sprouts make me feel like I’m eating something good for me and a little less guilty about eating a late dinner–especially the nights I come back from yoga.  Then I usually have dinner within the hour I go to bed.  A dining strategy any diet guru will tell you is bad for your metabolism.  There’s a reason so many adults get hard, time consuming jobs and gain weight.

Brussel Sprouts with Bacon and Raisins Read more

Dec 17

All it takes is a little Mussel

Curried Mussel Bisque

“Mussels”…because I’m moving and all day today. HAR HAR HAR.  But yes I am moving out of my old apartment.  Don’t actually have a new place to live yet so I’m moving my stuff into a PODS container.  Ya know, those big storage containers that you can fill up and send off to be kept in a warehouse until you need it.  I need to do this because funny thing, my parents don’t have room for an entire apartment of furniture in their house.  Who knew??  So yes still living with them for now.  I probably will until June so I can save some money because living in San Francisco is expensive. In the meantime I’m sure I’ll have to cook for these people.  Gosh I can’t just live at home free of charge?  I have to DO THINGS for you guys?  Fine….

My favorite soup for a family dinner is this recipe from “The New England Soup Factory Cookbook” and with Christmas coming up and extended family invading homes, I wanted to share this recipe.  It can go more formal if you really want and serve it with your Christmas Dinner but I think it’s a lot more fun for a different night of the week when you can encourage people to use their hands.

It’s not a 30 minute meal, but it does cook up fairly quickly.  There is a lot of prep work with soaking and scrubbing the mussels so overall this takes about an hour.  It will depend on the mussels you get because you’ll basically simmer the soup until all (or most) of them have opened up and not much longer past that moment.  Nothing worse than overcooked shellfish.

The flavor in this soup is phenomenal.  I’m a huge fan of seafood, especially shellfish (bad jewish girl I know) and i think that’s largely because I was born and lived in Maine for the first 5 ½ years of my life.  It may be s(h)ellfish on my part but I just can’t keep Kosher if it means giving up my fried clams.

Of course the best part about this soup is that you can use the mussel shells themselves to scoop up the broth and slurp it loudly Japanese style.  My mom hates that.  Actually I usually do too, but for this soup you just can’t help wanting to enjoy it as obnoxiously as possible to rub it in to others around you how damn good dinner is. Read more

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