Procrastination is a bitch. She really truly is and if you look her up in the dictionary I’m sure a synonym would be “the internet.” I sat down to start this post an hour ago and instead wound up looking up all the fun things to do during Oakland’s upcoming Restaurant week. It’s one of those foodie fun-fests where pricier restaurants offer discounted fixed menus. I think I may have actually short circuited part of my keyboard from the puddled drool. Now it’s well past noon and I feel like I’ve wasted half my day away. I hate that.
Especially now that I live in a city. A proper city! Where there are things to do and see around every corner! Shiny pretty amazing things that should lure me away from this computer screen and out into the hustle and bustle of the world. Good for me but bad for the blog. Plus as my career develops I’m getting more actual work kicked to me at work. It’s a good thing really, but I have homework again and things to keep me busy outside of this exercise of public narcissism. Do you people really enjoy reading about my life? I always feel like I should be delivering posts more about content – science, advice, thoughtful discussions of the news – over these generic “here is how my life is going!” kinds of posts.
One thing people keep asking me now that I’ve sort of settled into a more comfortable location, now that my commute isn’t hell on wheels, is if I plan on getting back into dating. Honestly? I don’t feel the need just yet. I’ve never been single, and I mean not just single but that dirtiest of words…celibate, for this long since I was 17. I have officially gone about 6 months totally unattached and it doesn’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. Maybe it’s because I’ve been a serial monogamist and by the time I turned 24 I’d had more long-term relationships than some people see in a lifetime? Maybe it’s because I’m just too busy and too preoccupied to care? Maybe it’s because I’ve replaced sex with yoga…. I definitely get a great afterglow from those classes. Or maybe it’s because I’m just too selfish right now to want to think about someone else’s needs/wants and sacrifice anything of mine for them.
If I’m going to be totally honest (what would Georgia Mason do?) on this blog here I guess I have to admit it’s largely that last one. I am very selfish at this stage of my life right now. I’d like to say I deserve to be. I spent a lot of my life giving, fixing, taking care of things but that’s just how I interpret it. I’d hate to wind up a prima donna who is under the delusion she’s given so much when in reality I haven’t done shit. If that’s the case I sincerely hope I grow out of this phase but in the meantime at least I can recognize it and not make the mistake of getting into a relationship where I just cheat the other person out of reciprocity. I’ve said this before, that I’m happy on my own, but it seems people always thought that was just because I had to commute and didn’t have enough time to sleep much less date.
But the truth is that I’m just not a person who should be engaging in a relationship right now. Since the theme of this year is balance perhaps one of my goals will be to find a way to become that person by 2014. While I don’t plan on using my newfound time to date, I can finally take some time to get introspective, reconnect with me and figure out where I am. Frankly I think this is something all of us serial monogamists or newly single folks should do. The longer the relationship was, the more time you might need to discover just what about you changed over that time. Or perhaps more importantly what should change and what shouldn’t have. That way when you are ready, when you are a balanced person again, you will enter into a relationship with your head on straight. This is important because CRAZY will attract CRAZY. I truly believe that. If you don’t have your shit together you aren’t going to attract someone who has their shit together and that usually ends up in explosively bad situations.
Nope for now I’m satisfied with yoga and chocolate. Speaking of chocolate…how about some chocolate for breakfast? CHOCOLATE MUFFINS – take 2.
I just realized that all I’ve shared with you as of this post are two eggnog recipes and two chocolate recipes. You know how I said I was hoping to achieve a little balance in my life this year? Clearly that’s not applying to my kitchen antics. I promise to deliver a Think Thin Tuesday tomorrow with something a bit healthier and undo this lopsided binge. But like all diets, that starts tomorrow! I baked up a batch of these in the past using Dorie Greenspan’s recipe and this week I tried out Alton Brown’s version. Sorry AB but I’ve gotta say I think I liked Dorie’s more, though the addition of walnuts to this batch was very nice. If I bake these up for a luxurious brunch in the future I’ll definitely keep the walnuts in the recipe. It at least provides the illusion of something healthy to these suckers.
AB’s Chocolate Muffin #7