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Posts from the ‘Stories’ Category

Jan 28

Muffin Monday: She who brings destruction…

In school from elementary through college, I always enjoyed any unit or course which touched upon Greek mythology—or honestly, any sort of mythology and folklore in general.  It’s why I took an entire course on fairy tales which I could have aced in my sleep as an undergrad and enjoyed more than probably any other class I took…save my graphic novels course.  Clearly I needed to major in non-traditional literature.  One of the greek myths that always stuck with me over the years is that of the Abduction (i.e. Rape) of Persephone.  Are you familiar with this story?

Demeter is one of the less popularly known, but still major, Greek Gods.  She is the “Mother Earth” figure; the Goddess of Harvest and abundance as well as the keeper of the Eleusinian Mysteries—a series of ceremonies we still don’t know much about save they were related to the concept of immortality in the afterlife and aided by some psychotropic drugs.  Persephone is/was the “virgin” daughter of Demeter—an interesting contrast to a Goddess of harvest which would symbolize fertility.  The story of the abduction of Persephone always stuck with me I think because of the power of Demeter to bring the world to its knees all for the sake of her daughter.  You know the saying about a woman scorned?  I think that pales in comparison to the wrath of a mother protecting her child. Here’s how the story plays out:

Persephone is the beautiful, virginal daughter of Demeter with untold beauty.  One day Hades spies her and, being the god of the Underworld and death, covets her and wishes to take her down to the underworld to be his bride.  In the past Persephone had already been wooed by Gods far more beautiful and charming than Hades—notably Apollo the sun god—and she had rejected them all.  Demeter would do her best to keep her daughter hidden away from their lustful invitations and her daughter remained a pure Goddess of nature; she would assist her mother in spreading seeds that fed the world.

Hades confers with Zeus who advises him to steal the girl away.  Zeus was such a cad wasn’t he?  The man could not stay faithful and he had no qualms about just absconding with women as he or his brothers desired.  Anyway Hades decides to listen to his philandering, venereal disease collection plate known as God of the Gods, and one day as Persephone wanders alone in a field of wild flowers, Hades abducts and makes off with the poor girl.  How awful would that be?  To be in a field of sunshine and flowers one moment and the next crowned the queen of a land of the dead and decrepit?

Demeter, upon finding out her daughter’s fate, dooms the earth to drought and death.  She refuses to let anything grow unless Persephone is freed from Hades’s grasp and brought back to the light of the world.  As the planet withers and dies, Zeus eventually responds by pleading with his brother to let the girl go however it turns out that it is too late to free Persephone from the grasp of the netherworld completely.  A rule of visiting Hades’ realm is that no one who eats there may ever leave.  Persephone had during her captivity consumed only a few seeds from the fruit of a pomegranate—in some stories she is tricked, in others driven by hunger and attempts to conceal her act.  Regardless those 4 seeds bind Persephone to the realm.  Consumed with rage Demeter continues to starve the earth to death until Hades develops and alternative plan: Persephone is bound only for as many months as seeds she consumed.  While Demeter relents from her destruction when Persephone returns, she still continued to refuse to bless the earth or harvest during the time her daughter is taken from her each year.  A constant reminder to Zeus and any other man precisely of what a mother’s wrath can bring.   Thus the name Persephone became known as “she who brings destruction and death”   This story was also meant to account for the concept of the seasons as most Greek myths are stories to explain something that we now have science for.

I guess this story has been on my mind because we are breaching the final weeks of the worst of winter and I am longing for summer sun to return.  I also just spent a fantastic weekend doing a photo shoot with my mom and am planning on spending valentine’s day with her so maybe the mother-daughter thing is on my head as well.  Regardless it inspired today’s muffin recipe.  The pomegranates were an experiment of mine and I wasn’t sure how they would turn out.  I was very pleasantly surprised.  See pomegranate seeds are both juicy and crunchy so it was like having blueberries and walnuts rolled into one tiny gem.  I quite enjoyed the texture interplay.

 

Whole Wheat Pomegranate Muffins

An Olivia Original Read more

Nov 5

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Muffin Monday: Rockin’ Country Punkin’

This is the story of how I got to be in a music video. 

Hey ya’ll.  I’m a feeling a little bit country AND a little bit rock and roll today.  Why pray tell?  Okay blog readers I’ll let you in on a little secret: a few months ago on one of my LA weekend trips, I got to film a music video.   (click through on the link or scroll to the bottom of my post to see it!!)  As in be in a music video and I actually got some legitimate camera time.  It was an amazing experience with some incredibly talented and kind individuals—and yes the music is what I guess you would call country rock.  Some of you will wrinkle your noses at the mere mention of country music.  To you I say PAH.  I think bashing on country music has become one of the few socially acceptable prejudices and that’s a shame.  I’m not an auditory bigot.  I believe that all genres have some good stuff and some bad stuff, country included.  Jason Charles Miller definitely falls into the GOOD stuff side of country music.

When I got the offer to come down to shoot I leapt out of my chair and did a little happy dance.  I love getting to play on set and be immersed in the creative, kinetic energy that production generates.  It’s really a great experience and I’m so lucky to get to do this from time to time.  I met Jason through “The Guild” and was beyond thrilled that he brought me in on this project.  If any of you are fans of this guy from his past days in Godhead or his current solo career I want to let you in on a secret: Jason is one of the most amazingly sweet, down to earth guys you will ever meet.  It was all he could do to make sure that the gaggle of blondes, as well as his entire crew, was happy, healthy and well fed during the entire shoot.  The man didn’t have to do that but he did.

Don’t you love it when people you admire turn out to be genuinely kind and good?  It really makes that admiration feel well deserved and earned.  It can feel like such a betrayal to meet a hero only to find out that this person you’ve looked up to, been inspired by, is a douche or a phony.   Plus I think that because Jason is such a nice guy, his crew really respects him and as a result they were also all unbelievably nice, accommodating and I had just as much fun in between takes just sitting around talking with them as I did getting to film the video.

The added thrill of getting my hair and makeup done professionally, getting paid for it and basically being made to feel like a glamazon….well that didn’t hurt either.  I’m a girly girl believe it or not and this was the sort of thing us girly girls dream of getting to do one day.  Bucket List item #37: CHECK.

The video itself is a play on a Robert Palmer shoot from the 80’s – Addicted to Love – in which the singer is surrounded by almost apathetic, stunning blonde models playing in his band.  I think our group got a little more animated but how can you not with a song this catchy?  Now some folks might notice that a few of the women in the shoot are a bit notorious i.e. they are adult film stars.  I had some people ask me about that, about what that was like, and I am going to tell you right now to put any of those questions out of your mind: it wasn’t like anything.  These were all really sweet, kind women who I had a fantastic time with on set.  Their day jobs, or night jobs as it may be (badum-cha!), have little to no bearing on what kind of people they are.  I can not begin to tell you how genuinely pleasant, upbeat and joyful these ladies were.  In an industry setting where it can be quite easy to encounter self-absorbed bitches this was a delight.  They brought a great energy to set and as far as I was concerned, their line of work was a non-issue.  At some point during the day Jason checked in with me to make sure I was alright with it and I told him “What’s going to happen?  It’s not like I’m going to catch porn or anything.”

I’m a firm believer that people ought to be judged by the choices they make and how they behave and treat others.  What you do for a living only defines you if you let it.  Otherwise who am I to judge someone who brings home a paycheck and takes care of their shit?  Are they hurting anyone?  No?  Then get over it.  There are of course a few notable exceptions to this.  Chiefly politicians, lawyers and that jerk who throws people into the Sarlac pit.  I might have to reflect a little bit on the kind of personality these jobs attract but teh pr0ns?  Please.  Sex is not my enemy.  Thank God, Moses, Allah, Xenu, Cthulu, Ron Jeremy…whomever, thank the Universe I was raised in a home without any sexual hangups.  There’s a lot I can complain about with my family but my mother never raised me to view sex as something dirty, shameful or sinful.

Now if you want to talk SINFUL we should get to these Pumpkin muffins I baked up.  Oh yes more pumpkin noms.  Tis the season people!  You know what I had a hankerin’ for?  Cranberry muffins with a pumpkin twist.  Mmmmmm.  You never see these out in the shops and I don’t know why not.  It makes perfect sense to me, we eat both these ingredients at Thanksgiving and they pair so nicely.  Pumpkin is sweet and earthy, cranberries tangy and sweet…top it off with a little flax seed streusel and you have yourself a delicious fall muffin.  Makes you want to sit on a porch swing with a hot cup of coffee on a fall evening with a good song to listen, maybe a blanket (or a guy) to snuggle up with and just watch the leaves fall….  It’s just a shame that these are such season ingredients.  You can’t change the way you still want these muffins all year long.

Pumpkin Cranberry Muffins Read more

Oct 29

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Halloweek Day 3: Quel Rat! (loaf)

I decided that since it’s Halloween on Rollings Reliable maybe it’s time to talk about something scary.

Hmmm.  No muffins this Monday, that’s pretty unusual but not too scary.  I did make muffins but I’m going to share that recipe with you next week in favor of some more Halloween themed dishes.  I do so love this day.  I could complain to you about the traffic I encountered/dreaded heading home each day when a World Series game was playing in San Francisco.  The games start at 5PM mind you so the roads are congested during PEAK commute hours surrounding the first pitch.  Maybe more asinine than scary though no?

Okay let’s talk about something that I know for a fact everyone will find scary: online dating.

CHILLS right?  Just sends you into cold sweat thinking about it.  Either you have never done it and find the idea repulsive and creepy or you HAVE done it to discover it repulsive and exhausting. 

Here’s the thing about the difference between these scenarios; if you’ve never done online dating you probably are more repulsed by the stigma of it and creeped out by the idea of getting lured into a date only to be axe murdered.  The reality of online dating is that it’s repulsive because of the kinds of responses some people think are appropriate and creepy because you discover that instead of axe murdering, 90% of any date you go on is at best tedious and disappointing.  I admit that I have at stages in my life utilized these dating sites as a “toe in the water” kind of mechanism.

As I stated before I’m pretty content being single right now.  My life requires a lot of selfishness and I would probably be a piss poor girlfriend because there’s no way I could give as much as I’d be demanding.  I’d feel guilty about that and then the relationship would just crumble away like a dilapidated graveyard filled with buried resentments.

Bearing that in mind, I do have my profile back “online” so to speak.  Why?  Primarily because a good friend is using this one particular service and I wanted to be able to help screen potential dates and help edit profile text for maximum interest.  I’m such a yenta about getting my friends happily settled down.  I want my vicarious smoochies!! 

Having my profile back up is reminding me just how scary online dating is as a woman.  Why?  The sheer volume of meaningless, copy-pasta messages that men looking to get laid will send out is staggering.   These guys don’t even READ the profiles; they just look at photo, hit ctrl-c and then send.  It’ll usually be a line or two like “Hey there I’m Joe Schmoe and I really liked your profile.  We should chat!”  See?  Just a bland, no content, spammy message.  Then there’s what I call the Holly Golightly Gallery of Rats and Super-Rats:

  • Men who live on the other side of the world – why are you messaging me?
  • “Nice Ass” – or some derivation making up the entire message
  • “Hey Gorgeous” – or some derivation making up the entire message
  • “I know you probably get this a lot…” – and then rambling about how cute/attractive you are with no attention to content of your profile again indicating they didn’t bother to read it at all
  • CREEPY OLD MEN – I mean the 50+ who are hitting on 22 year old girls.  Ugh.
  • “Hey are you down for some casual sex?” – yup at least once a day
  • Guys who flip out if you don’t respond within 24 hours
  • Guys who won’t stop sending messages / take a hint
  • Drive by misogynists – men who will message you just to insult you based off your profile

Follow that up with the number of well, yes mouth-breathers who most likely are single for good reason, and I wind up deleting on average 19 out of every 20 messages I get to start.  Of that 5% I’ll respond maybe to half of them and even then it’s usually to politely say no thank you.  When I get a message from someone who actually took time to write an original thought down, who actually read my profile, I feel like they at least deserve a response even if it’s just to say “sorry it’s not quite clicking for me but good luck!”

The flip side to this of course is how scary the online dating world is for men.  Men who are afraid to be seen of as any of the aforementioned rats.  It seems physical proximity isn’t the only thing that makes it nerve wracking to approach women and I sympathize.  I mean look at how critical I just was.  At best if you don’t come across as a rat, you might appear to be totally uninteresting.  How to capture a girl’s attention amongst this sea of rats, super rats and scared little mice?  My advice: be genuine.  I don’t mean “be yourself” tralalalala and rainbows will appear.  I mean put in some honest effort.  If you are sending her a message, tell her why and elaborate past her looks.  In fact don’t even mention her looks.  A girl knows if you are sending her a message that means her photo already attracted you.  Move on to something about the *content* of her words and why that interested you.  Ask an engaging and thoughtful question and keep it short.  By all means don’t get needy if she doesn’t respond either.

We, as women, get a lot of messages through some universal unfairness scale on dating sites but we’re not going to forget one that’s memorable.  If you take the time to do this and she doesn’t respond, she’s not interested and move on.  Do not, by any means, send a message within 48 hours asking WHY she hasn’t written you back yet.  She may be busy and taking her time but if she’s anything like me, that is an auto-dismissal because it often heralds a bad sign. 

 

Non-rat version of the same recipe. maybe a little more appetizing to your eyes….

For now I’m keeping the account as a minor diversion.  That rare 1.5% of men who manage to not elicit a response akin to my lady parts committing nuclear suicide could be a welcome diversion for my life right now.  If nothing else I think that dating is definitely a unique skill set and like all skill sets, requires a certain amount of maintenance.  Do I want a relationship?  Nope not at all and I’m not going to force myself to go out on any dates.  It may be that I meet up with absolutely no one but you know what?  I’m betting I’ll get some great stories for you guys J  I’ll do my best though to keep it more Holly Golightly and less Carrie Bradshaw when I talk about dating okay?

In theme with these Rats and Super Rats…how about some Rat Meatloaf.  Okay it’s not actual rat, but look at how disgustingly creepified it can be.  If you are planning on hosting a dinner party this would be a great entrée.  Pumpkin in the glaze adds a seasonal flavor note.  Roast beets in the meatloaf add moisture yielding a product that is exceptionally juicy.  The red “chunks” add a great creep out factor when coupled with the overall rat appearance.  Best yet they will lose water during baking and make your glaze juices especially bright RED.  It really looks like actual rats are covered in blood and scurrying across your table platter.  Ghoulish, disgusting….perfect. 

Olivia’s Halloween Rat-Loaf
An Olivia Original  Read more

Oct 26

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Halloweek Day 2: Scifriday Alien Balls

What do you get when you combine an Alien, Halloween, movie munchies, the phrase “Penis Breath” and an iconic candy?  Olivia’s E.T. Reese’s Pieces Popcorn Balls. 

One thing that I will always associate with Halloween is “E.T.”, my high school German class and then by extension Top Gun.  Tom Cruise associations oh man, yeah, that’s spooky.   Why do I associate all these things?  Well it’s kind of boring but you asked….  In high school language classes there are always those “gimme” days where the teacher is sick or tired or lazy and instead of teaching just puts in a familiar film in the foreign language.  It’s a great chance for everyone, instructor and student, to catch up on sleep, screw off or just enjoy a classic movie.  Disney films are especially popular in Spanish and French classes from what I’ve seen.  This was not the case for my German classes.  According to my teacher the only films he was able to get that would play on American DVD players were: 1) Top Gun and 2) E.T. 

I have seen Top Gun in German so many times that I will never, ever, ever watch that movie again under any circumstances.  That movie is cheesy at best.  E.T. would have been far preferable to watch but the agonizingly annoying thing was that my teacher saved this movie ONLY for Halloween.  We would watch Top Gun at least once a quarter but E.T. was given one viewing and only in October.  The rationale for this screening decision: oh, well, it has a Halloween scene in it.

As a result this is the film I’ve come to think of as “The” Halloween movie.    It’s inextricably tied to the holiday in my head because of the strength of my disdain for this language course.  Unfortunately there was only ONE teacher for German and since I didn’t pick up a language class until my sophomore year I was stuck.  Switching into another class junior year would mean falling short of the three year language requirement for UC schools without taking a summer course and I was verboten from doing this.  That’s a whole other blog post though. 

There are numerous fantastic Halloween movies!  Scary ones like the Michael Meyers flicks.  Awesomesauce ones like Evil Dead and Army of Darkness.  Adorable ones like The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.  Even a few from my childhood that are still fun today like Hocus Pocus or the ever popular The Nightmare before Christmas.  But Noooo the movie that I always think of first, no matter what I do, is E.T.  Admittedly there are worse movies that I could think of; certain installments in the “torture porn” industry that always release around this time.  I never actually watch E.T. on Halloween post-high school either.  This year, like I mentioned yesterday, I’ll be titillating myself for the evening with some gothic rock opera.  Regardless I’m sure that 15 years from today, the first thing that comes to my mind when someone asks for a Halloween movie will be a wrinkly alien in a ghost sheet and the words “penis breath!”

Of course like I said there are worse things.  It’s a great film.  Especially if you can avoid the doctored version Spielberg released and later regretted where the secret agents had their guns replaced with less menacing walkie talkies.  It seems Spielberg learned his lesson though and has decided to leave that crap to Lucas.  UGH.  As a kid watching the film I didn’t notice or feel threatened by the guns.  I didn’t even really register them until this happened.   You know what I did remember from the movie?  Reese Pieces.  Who doesn’t remember that if they watched it as a kid?  Candy is freaking memorable.  Especially delicious nuggets of peanut buttery goodness.  Supposedly M&Ms passed on the opportunity to be featured in the film as the alien bait.  If that’s true, and I’ve never bothered to look it up because I don’t want a perfectly good old wives’ tale to get ruined, man what dumbasses.

Reese’s also happen to be a fantastic Halloween candy.  Look at the color scheme: orange, yellow and brown.  Halloween in a box.  At least that’s what I thought when I decided I wanted to do a SciFriday post and of course the first thing I thought of was E.T.  Then I thought of the Halloween Tree and Ray Bradbury and got sad.  A box of tissues later and I pulled myself together to present to you the ultimate in Halloween/SciFi/Movie consumption: E.T. Reese’s Pieces Popcorn Balls!  These are horrible, no good for you bundles of junk food heaven.  You will feel awful for eating one and then even worse when you eat five more because they are so disgustingly delicious.  But this is the time of the year to indulge our inner five year olds and pig out a bit. 

E.T. Reese’s Popcorn Balls
An Olivia Original inspired by E.T. Read more

Dec 17

Getting Personal

This is the story about my chickenshit end to life in Davis California. Some fools out there on the interwebs indicated they’d like to see posts like these here too.  Normally I’d keep this to myself in a black journal but you asked for it….

I keep fighting back the urge to cry.  I have been doing this for months.  I don’t think I’ve even really talked to my boyfriend about it because when I did he would encourage me to reach out.  And I was just too fucking scared to do it.I moved out of my apartment today.  I need to go back and clean tomorrow, but for all that matters, I’m gone from where I lived the last year.  I don’t miss the apartment itself.  Truth is it was kind of a dump.  Nice floors but old, old wiring, two prong outlets, wall unit furnace…well there are nicer places I’ve lived.  I loved the people though.  I loved my calming roommate from January – August who then became a neighbor, I loved the beautiful and emotional girl next door and I loved her vegan, idealistic counterpart who shared that two bedroom with her.  But I don’t think they know it at all.  I haven’t really spoken or spent time with them in a meaningful way in months. Read more

Nov 7

Muffin Monday: Corny Answers (and muffins)

Welcome back Muffin Mondays!

I hate interviewing.  I think the only people who can genuinely enjoy the process of being dissected while trying to smile and sell yourself as the “number one ninja” for the job are sociopaths.   I mean most of the questions I just answer honestly and hope that my personality/skills are right for the job.  Still there’s always that final question: Why should I hire YOU over everyone else?  That question always makes me feel small and phony.  I always just sit there and think: I haven’t done anything remarkable with my life, I’m not valuable at all.

The truth is that you can’t possibly know you are the best candidate in the pool for the job unless you’ve met and seen the qualifications of all the other candidates. That never happens.  So sure I can say you won’t find a harder worker than me, or someone more dedicated or upbeat or any of the other stock corny lines, but I don’t actually know that to be true.  So saying it just feels like I’m spewing out lies like carbon dioxide.  Meanwhile they will test you and throw questions that often times, I don’t have an answer for or worst of all: the answer is something you are just expected to say.  People make a job out teaching others how to answer those interview questions for goodness sake.  Then even if I do honestly mean what I’m saying, I know that other people are just saying it too and the game isn’t really a matter of if you mean what you say but only if you know what to say.

Today I went on a grueling long interview process which was uniquely challenging because they went far past those typical responses.  It was great because at times I actually had exams and puzzles to sort out.  I love puzzles and I am the QUEEN of scheduling things.  My favorite thing about college was getting fresh course guides each quarter and planning my course schedule with various colored charts.  I know Nerd Alert.  I love organizing things though and solving problems/puzzles gives me this strange little thrill.  In high school my friends called me the “Crack Enhanced Martha Stewart” (No I wasn’t on drugs, just tons of caffeine) and I’ve always said I’d make a kick ass personal assistant.

I am exhausted mentally, mostly from the energy I spend trying to be as calm and confident on the outside as possible, so without further ado here is the recipe for…

Dorie Greenspan’s Corniest Corn Muffins

  • 1 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1 cup yellow cornmeal, preferably stone-ground
  • 6 tablespoons granulated sugar
  • 2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • Pinch of freshly grated nutmeg
  • 1 cup buttermilk
  • 3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and cooled
  • 3 tablespoons corn oil
  • 1 large egg
  • 1 large egg yolk
  • 1 cup corn kernels (add up to 1/3 cup more if you’d like) – fresh, frozen or canned (in which case they should be drained and patted dry)

Center a rack in the oven and preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Butter or spray the 12 molds in a regular-size muffin pan or fit the molds with paper muffin cups. Alternatively, use a silicone muffin pan, which needs neither greasing nor paper cups. Place the muffin pan on a baking sheet.

In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, cornmeal, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt and nutmeg, if you’re using it. In a large glass measuring cup or another bowl, whisk the buttermilk, melted butter, oil, egg and yolk together until well blended. Pour the liquid ingredients over the dry ingredients and, with the whisk or a rubber spatula, gently but quickly stir to blend. Don’t worry about being thorough – the batter will be lumpy, and that’s just the way it should be. Stir in the corn kernels. Divide the batter evenly among the muffin cups.

Bake for 15 to 18 minutes  or until the tops are golden and a thin knife inserted into the center of the muffins comes out clean. Transfer the pan to a rack and cool for 5 minutes before carefully removing each muffin from its mold.

Oct 4

Blackout Cake-18
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Don’t go Bakin’ my Heart

I’m convinced this cake is why my boyfriend, “Peter Parker”, is dating me.  Now it could be my awesome dog (“IT totally is the dog”–Boyfriend), my impressive stint as a one-time extra, shared interests or ya know my personality but I’m still convinced this cake is what won his heart.

It’s that good.  The devil’s food cake portion is fluffy but rich with pockets of chocolate from the chips.  The frosting is marshmallow fluffy goodness and on the outside?  Crumbs from a fourth layer patched against the sides.  Cake, frosting, cake and not a single mouthful less delicious than the first.

The night we finally “got together” so to speak I was going to a party and decided to bring something.  Not boozamahol, everyone brings that.  Instead I had a cake sitting on the counter that I desperately needed to get rid of so I wouldn’t accidentally the whole thing.  I grabbed it and ran out the door to get into the car that was picking me up.  Boyfriend was sitting in the passenger seat and I handed the cake off to him while climbing into the back.  I never got the damn thing back.  Well okay, I did, but he ate a significant portion of it.  It’s been a little over four months and we just went to a party thrown by the same group of people.  The ones who remembered me, remembered because of the cake and asked why I didn’t bring another one.

So here are two life lessons:

1) This cake will make people fall in love with you.
2) This cake will make people REMEMBER that you brought a cake and expect more in the future.

With great cake comes great responsibility (and a larger waistband). Read more

Sep 28

bop4

Bird Beats Cat

It’s been feeling lately like the DC reboot has given the finger to female readers and to be fair, also to the men of the world who don’t see women purely as vaginas with bodies attached.  I can’t speak for supergirl since I haven’t read that one yet, so far nothing bad has been said but nothing great either.  Meanwhile some of the biggest, bad-ass chicks around are getting totally destroyed.

  • Catwoman: the sexcapades.  Now admittedly, I wasn’t as bothered by this on the first read through.  There IS a story present and a good set up for
    Selina’s character motivations.  Still looking back it starts with sex appeal, has sex as a means to assassination in the middle and sex as escapism at the end.  Presumably this is not going to be the direction for each comic and I can see it working in a larger context as how Catwoman is introduced so I’m not bothered by it.  Not yet.  I mean Catwoman IS pretty much the ultimate seductress.  
  • Harley Quinn (from Suicide Squad): Magic Corset Powers.  She must have them because that thing would not stay on halfway laced.  Harley was created for the show that I grew up watching.  She was manic and insane.  She managed to wear the most ridiculous costume that highlighted Harley’s mental instability perfectly while still making you think “damn the girl is hot.”  Harley was so memorable and unique because she was so strik
    ingly off the wall and different from the other comic book hotties who wear either female versions of a male costume or lingerie.  DC has now completely destroyed that.  Looking at her current costume I don’t find her at all unique.  It’s really, really upsetting.
  • Starfire (from Red Hood): sould-deadened prostitute.  That’s what they have turned her into.  There is NOTHING there.  No substance, no fire, nothing.  Any man who says “she’s a sexually liberated female” is a sociopath, a virgin or has no understanding/respect for females and should never speak to one again.

So with these Greek Tragedies in our hands, thank God for Birds of Prey getting the girl power thing down.  Women if you want something to read, something for your comic book lovin’ daughters to read, please please buy Birds of Prey.  The #1 managed to avoid the pitfall of what a 13 year old boy imagines strong, sexy women to be like,and instead has strong, sexy women.  So far the reviews I’ve read have been either ones of pleasant surprise at the promising story, worries about the loss of the old team or from several male reviewers, complaints that Black Canary doesn’t look enough like a prostitute.  **Cue the eyeroll**  Look I get that she’s the one character to get MORE clothes during the reboot but I think what came off Starfire more than makes up for it okay?


Black Canary looks great IMO.  Her costume still has elements of what it used to be, but looks more sleek and secret ops.  The fishnets on her arms might seem silly but there are plenty of gloves you can buy at Hot Topic or various stores that have the same design.  The character still kicks ass.  Black Canary is tough and has always been a martial arts bad ass.  This gets established early on.  Starling, a new character, takes on a totally different sexy vibe.  She’s got the bustier, leather pants and a pretty nice looking tat sleeve.  The artist has managed to draw sexual, curvy women without forgetting they are human beings.  The storyline is intriguing…the ending definitely has a great cliffhanger that’s got me way more excited about the next book than any other.

Oh and for the women sick of the constant sex…well Canary is assaulted with a kiss that she doesn’t want from one of her attackers.  It serves a larger plot purpose that I can’t reveal here because it’s *SPOILERS* but she says Senno Ekto Gamat with her fists after the kiss happens.  THAT is what I want to see.

I didn’t manage to get my hands on the new Wonder Woman whose comics have always managed to portray women in a positive way in spite of the numerous “woman in bondage” covers.  I’m hoping once I do I’ll have another book to say good things about and not add Diana to the list of fallen femme fatales.  

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