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Posts from the ‘Feasts’ Category

National Lager Day

Lager ClamsYou may have noticed a lack of post on Friday…or not.  I was super burnt out by the end of last week and could not bring myself to even log onto a computer most of this weekend.  Highly unusual for someone who thinks her belly button would function nicely as an usb port and actually a little worrisome.  Basically I need to focus on my apartment hunting with reckless abandon because this commute cannot go on much longer for someone as hyperactive as me.  It just can’t.

Continuing with my “break the chain” mode I’m in at the moment, today’s recipe will NOT be a muffin.

**Gasp** No muffin you say?  What in the world can preempt the most simple to make, fast to bake, idiot proof quick bread around?  No one thing can possibly be that important.  Okay that last bit is a bit much don’t you think?  Anyway regardless it’s not just one thing: it’s National Lager Day and a big batch of clams.  Delicious, lager steamed clams to celebrate America’s favorite beer.  Now it all makes sense doesn’t it?

Lager Clams 2

As I am sure I’ve mentioned in the past, I’m not really a big lager fan.  I prefer ales—specifically ales of the dark and nutty variety.  Still a good lager can have its place on the table or even better yet, in the kitchen, where you actually will have need of the subtler, less yeasty drink. Like say when you are cooking a delicate yet flavorful shellfish that needs to be complemented but not overshadowed.

So here are some quick and dirty facts about Lager.  I should give it a proper once over as part of my beer series but like I said, there’s a reckless abandon with which I’m doing my apartment search that is limiting how much time I have to spend on these posts for the near future.  I’ll do my best to make it up to the brew (and you!) in the future:

  • America’s most popular beers (Miller and Bud) are both lagers and have a high “drinkability” score.  Lager Clams 3Drinkability refers to how easy it is to get a consumer to have more than one beer.  Lagers in general will rank higher on drinkability because their less aggressive flavor, and in the case of cheap lagers “wateriness”, makes them easier on the stomach.   An extreme opposing example would be Guinness—a very dark ale that is extremely filling.  You wouldn’t play beer point with Guinness, or shouldn’t as I learned the hard way back in my college days.  Drinkability is a great way for companies to create a product which they can sell a lot of at a cheaper price hence the great success of Bud and Budlight.
  • Lagers are bottom fermenting beers.  This means that the yeast sits at the bottom of the tank, rather than the top, while it does its business.  Lagers also use a different strain of yeast than ales.  Ales are traditionally brewed with the baker’s yeast Saccharomyces cerevisiae.  Lagers are brewed with Saccharomyces pastorianus.  It’s not hard to remember the name of this yeast when you also know that lager is a bottom fermenter.  Har Har potty humor Har.  This is just the basic though as yeast strains are often toyed with for beer production and in fact, guarded quite closely.  In another post I’ll get into yeast science a bit more for you.
  • Dark lagers do exist, are more like their bitter ale cousins and are a bit more popular in Germany than here.  If you want to sample one of these varieties try picking up a Dunkel or a Schwarzbeir – meaning black beer.
  • Lagers are subtler in their yeast flavor and are fermented at lower temperatures for longer periods of time.  What’s the benefit to this longer, colder fermentation?  An increase in shelf life time which, coupled with Drinkability scores, is what makes Anheuser-Busch(and Inbev) both brilliant and rich!  It’s also why you can get your 36 pack for the house party much cheaper when it’s a mass produced lager than artisanal small ales.

Lager Clams 4The lager I used in my recipe this week is NOT produce by the mega-conglomerate that currently owns the majority of brewhouses in the world.  Since I wanted to go with a New England vibe for the clams I opted for a classic staple lager that you don’t really find in this country outside of states bordering Canada’s eastern seaboard: Moosehead Lager.  *Note you are required to be able to say you are 21 to enter that website*

Moosehead is a beer I distinctly remembered my mother drinking when we lived in Maine oh all those years back when I was a wee lass of 5.  It’s the product of Canada’s oldest independent brewery and still operated by the same family today.  That might have nothing to do really with the quality of the beer but I have to say, drinking something with that kind of family history really lends a pleasant nostalgia experience to your consumption.  At least I think it does.   Dining is quite different from eating and I’ve found that stories that invoke small town, family hearth kind of feelings really add to the enjoyment of the dining experience for a lot of people.  Food is such an intimate thing—after all how often do we describe it as “made with love”—and so providing that element to the experience really does seem to enhance it.  I do think it’s a superior product to the blue can stuff so I ran with it and this was my resulting meal.  If you can’t find Moosehead, don’t despair, any lager will do really.  The whole point is to lend the flavor of beer without making the dish taste like beer.  You really want the clams to sing in this dish.

Moosehead Lager Steamed Clams

An Olivia Original

  • 2lb littleneck clams (preferred but any clam will do)Lager Clams 6
  • 12oz Moosehead lager
  • 1 Tbsp finely minced shallot
  • 4 Tbsp butter
  • 2 Tbsp chopped parsley

Scrub all your clams and be sure to remove any sand, grit and beards left behind.  Nothing worse than biting into a sandy clam.

In a large stock pot add your butter and shallot over medium heat.  Sweat and bring out that translucent delicious color of the shallots—approximately 8 minutes.  Pour in your lager, clams and chopped parsley and bring the liquid to a boil.  Cover the pot with a tight fitting lid and reduce to simmer for about 5-10 minutes.

Clams are small and delicate—they will cook quickly and become like rubber if you don’t watch it.  Once the majority of your clams have opened remove them from the heat.  A few may still be closed…toss them!  Those were dead clams and you do not want to pry them open to eat them.  Dead clams = bad bugs.  I usually find 2 to 5 in every batch.  If you have significantly more than a handful of closed clams, you might not have let them cook long enough.  Add the closed ones back into the pot and give them another 5 minutes.  Not opening still?  Bad luck.  Toss them.

Serve with the remainder of the liquid and some extra chopped parsley for presentation.  Grate some lemon zest on top if you are feeling citrusy today and sop up any extra sauce with a giant slice of Anadama bread to make it a real New England style feast.

See I told you it was worth giving up muffins for.

Lager Clams 5

SciFriday: (Lemon-Sage) Chicken Good

One of my all-time favorite scifi films is The Fifth Element.    Who amongst us doesn’t echo “Leeloo Dallas Multipass” whenever we’re asked for identification?  Oh?  Just me?

Damn.  Oh well.  Thought I wasn’t crazy weird for once.

This movie, along with Back to the Future and a few others, is one of my “pause when scrolling” films.  That’s what call any film that I will go ahead and watch for the umpteenth time when I notice it listed on tv guide if I’m scrolling through looking for something to watch. If you haven’t seen this movie it’s one you should go out and rent immediately.    I mean let’s just look at the cast billing: Bruce Willis (in his action movie prime), Chris Tucker (before he got boring), Gary Oldman (THE MOST TALENTED ACTOR ON THE PLANET) and a young Milla Jovovich as the supreme being of the universe.  It manages to capture the campy spirit of some classic Scifi while still retaining a solid storyline, witty one-liners “anyone else want to negotiate?” and it’s holding up exceedingly well to the passage of time.  Now I’ll admit the ending is a little cheesy.  The giant floating planetary ball of eeeeeevil (trust me it makes more sense than it sounds) is a bit of a stretch but it works and you overlook that because Gary Oldman manages to make Zorg just so damn creepifying.   In part because his little logic rant in the middle of the movie, about chaos being needed in the world, kind of makes a little sense and don’t you just love it when villians get under your skin that way?  Also sexual innuendo via space shuttle launch?  I mean come on.

One of my future cosplay goals, part of why I’ve been working my butt off to get in shape, is Leeloo Dallas.  Shouldn’t be a big shock.  Kick ass heroine: check.  Cool, identifying wardrobe: check.  Accessories to make it an epic cosplay: check.  The only problem is that after seeing Adrienne Curry, a woman whose body defies all laws of gravity and fat distribution, cosplay as Leeloo two years ago I feel like I’d never live up to it.  Damn perfectionism getting the best of me.  Oh and no, I’m not going to be donning the more memorable costume aka the thermal bandages.  Ya know, I always knew those were a bit wow moment in the film, but for many years I really had no idea that men always summed up THAT image when discussing the film.  I always thought of her orange suspenders as a more iconic piece of The 5th Element universe.  Thermal bandages would be an easier cosplay to do but jeeeeze talk about body image problems.  Plus I don’t want to get raped so I guess  the slightly less memorable outfit will work just fine for me.  If I ever get over my Adrienne Curry inferiority complex that is.

Of course, when it comes to dining, the most memorable scene is of Leeloo fueling her newly awakened/reconstructed body.  “Chicken Good” is a phrase that as a geek you’ve either repeated when eating or as a non-geek, maybe heard someone say and had no idea what they were talking about.  Non geeks: I’m not reverting to caveman-esque ramblings fueled by hunger when I say that.  It’s from an early scene in the film when Leeloo is discovering human food (and the English language) for the first time after her body is reconstructed from a few cells.   She pulls out a second whole chicken, after devouring the first, and utters those oft quoted words before ripping into another chicken leg.  When I get home from work on days that I do Bikram in the evening, it’s usually around 9PM and I have to admit that the other day I attacked a chicken I’d roasted earlier in much the same way.  I’m always cold after Bikram because my body gets adjusted to that hot room.   As I sat huddled up in sweats for warmth, chicken leg in hand and stared at my computer screen, scrolling through my reader, it occurred to me that all I needed was short shaggy orange hair to complete the scene.  Thus I am officially declaring this roast chicken recipe I’d slapped together THE CHICKEN GOOD recipe.

It’s perfect, it’s simple, and it yields a nice small chicken with a buttery crisp skin and lots of homey, classic flavor.  If you use a smaller bird, like I did, you don’t even need to brine it. 

Chicken Good – Lemon Sage Buttered Chicken
An Olivia Original (and stupidly simple!) Read more

Halloweek Day 3: Quel Rat! (loaf)

I decided that since it’s Halloween on Rollings Reliable maybe it’s time to talk about something scary.

Hmmm.  No muffins this Monday, that’s pretty unusual but not too scary.  I did make muffins but I’m going to share that recipe with you next week in favor of some more Halloween themed dishes.  I do so love this day.  I could complain to you about the traffic I encountered/dreaded heading home each day when a World Series game was playing in San Francisco.  The games start at 5PM mind you so the roads are congested during PEAK commute hours surrounding the first pitch.  Maybe more asinine than scary though no?

Okay let’s talk about something that I know for a fact everyone will find scary: online dating.

CHILLS right?  Just sends you into cold sweat thinking about it.  Either you have never done it and find the idea repulsive and creepy or you HAVE done it to discover it repulsive and exhausting. 

Here’s the thing about the difference between these scenarios; if you’ve never done online dating you probably are more repulsed by the stigma of it and creeped out by the idea of getting lured into a date only to be axe murdered.  The reality of online dating is that it’s repulsive because of the kinds of responses some people think are appropriate and creepy because you discover that instead of axe murdering, 90% of any date you go on is at best tedious and disappointing.  I admit that I have at stages in my life utilized these dating sites as a “toe in the water” kind of mechanism.

As I stated before I’m pretty content being single right now.  My life requires a lot of selfishness and I would probably be a piss poor girlfriend because there’s no way I could give as much as I’d be demanding.  I’d feel guilty about that and then the relationship would just crumble away like a dilapidated graveyard filled with buried resentments.

Bearing that in mind, I do have my profile back “online” so to speak.  Why?  Primarily because a good friend is using this one particular service and I wanted to be able to help screen potential dates and help edit profile text for maximum interest.  I’m such a yenta about getting my friends happily settled down.  I want my vicarious smoochies!! 

Having my profile back up is reminding me just how scary online dating is as a woman.  Why?  The sheer volume of meaningless, copy-pasta messages that men looking to get laid will send out is staggering.   These guys don’t even READ the profiles; they just look at photo, hit ctrl-c and then send.  It’ll usually be a line or two like “Hey there I’m Joe Schmoe and I really liked your profile.  We should chat!”  See?  Just a bland, no content, spammy message.  Then there’s what I call the Holly Golightly Gallery of Rats and Super-Rats:

  • Men who live on the other side of the world – why are you messaging me?
  • “Nice Ass” – or some derivation making up the entire message
  • “Hey Gorgeous” – or some derivation making up the entire message
  • “I know you probably get this a lot…” – and then rambling about how cute/attractive you are with no attention to content of your profile again indicating they didn’t bother to read it at all
  • CREEPY OLD MEN – I mean the 50+ who are hitting on 22 year old girls.  Ugh.
  • “Hey are you down for some casual sex?” – yup at least once a day
  • Guys who flip out if you don’t respond within 24 hours
  • Guys who won’t stop sending messages / take a hint
  • Drive by misogynists – men who will message you just to insult you based off your profile

Follow that up with the number of well, yes mouth-breathers who most likely are single for good reason, and I wind up deleting on average 19 out of every 20 messages I get to start.  Of that 5% I’ll respond maybe to half of them and even then it’s usually to politely say no thank you.  When I get a message from someone who actually took time to write an original thought down, who actually read my profile, I feel like they at least deserve a response even if it’s just to say “sorry it’s not quite clicking for me but good luck!”

The flip side to this of course is how scary the online dating world is for men.  Men who are afraid to be seen of as any of the aforementioned rats.  It seems physical proximity isn’t the only thing that makes it nerve wracking to approach women and I sympathize.  I mean look at how critical I just was.  At best if you don’t come across as a rat, you might appear to be totally uninteresting.  How to capture a girl’s attention amongst this sea of rats, super rats and scared little mice?  My advice: be genuine.  I don’t mean “be yourself” tralalalala and rainbows will appear.  I mean put in some honest effort.  If you are sending her a message, tell her why and elaborate past her looks.  In fact don’t even mention her looks.  A girl knows if you are sending her a message that means her photo already attracted you.  Move on to something about the *content* of her words and why that interested you.  Ask an engaging and thoughtful question and keep it short.  By all means don’t get needy if she doesn’t respond either.

We, as women, get a lot of messages through some universal unfairness scale on dating sites but we’re not going to forget one that’s memorable.  If you take the time to do this and she doesn’t respond, she’s not interested and move on.  Do not, by any means, send a message within 48 hours asking WHY she hasn’t written you back yet.  She may be busy and taking her time but if she’s anything like me, that is an auto-dismissal because it often heralds a bad sign. 

 

Non-rat version of the same recipe. maybe a little more appetizing to your eyes….

For now I’m keeping the account as a minor diversion.  That rare 1.5% of men who manage to not elicit a response akin to my lady parts committing nuclear suicide could be a welcome diversion for my life right now.  If nothing else I think that dating is definitely a unique skill set and like all skill sets, requires a certain amount of maintenance.  Do I want a relationship?  Nope not at all and I’m not going to force myself to go out on any dates.  It may be that I meet up with absolutely no one but you know what?  I’m betting I’ll get some great stories for you guys J  I’ll do my best though to keep it more Holly Golightly and less Carrie Bradshaw when I talk about dating okay?

In theme with these Rats and Super Rats…how about some Rat Meatloaf.  Okay it’s not actual rat, but look at how disgustingly creepified it can be.  If you are planning on hosting a dinner party this would be a great entrée.  Pumpkin in the glaze adds a seasonal flavor note.  Roast beets in the meatloaf add moisture yielding a product that is exceptionally juicy.  The red “chunks” add a great creep out factor when coupled with the overall rat appearance.  Best yet they will lose water during baking and make your glaze juices especially bright RED.  It really looks like actual rats are covered in blood and scurrying across your table platter.  Ghoulish, disgusting….perfect. 

Olivia’s Halloween Rat-Loaf
An Olivia Original  Read more

The Maltese Chicken

Mmmm Malt.  That wonderful step in barley processing that gives beer such a distinctive flavor.   It’s seen so rarely in the world of cooking other than in malted shakes, milk balls, vinegar on fish or the occasional beer spiked batter.  Why is that?  Why don’t we use Malt more?  Today I am going to share with you an amazing malt-easy chicken recipe and a little bit more behind the science of this stage in Brewing.  Yup it’s a Brewing 101 series entry!  Get yourself a six pack of Guinness for this one because we are going to infuse our brine with the beer along with a slightly more unusual ingredient: barley malt.  A thick, sweet syrup similar to molasses but I’m getting ahead of myself.  First the beer!

What is Malt and why should I care?

Obligatory boring dictionary definition:  Malt is a term that can be used to describe any grain that has been germinated through a process known as “malting.”  The grains are made to germinate by soaking them in water to activate growth and then halting this process by applying extremely hot air.  (Kind of like you when you talk Olivia.  Oh shut up!)  Okay so there’s the definition but what does this really mean?

Well remember in the Barley post I wrote about how all those starches are present but tightly wound up and how they need to be broken down for enzymatic activity to turn sugar into alcohol?  Malting, or really germinating, is how you trigger that process.  See when a plant starts to grow the embryo, that is the plant itself, needs to eat to get big and strong.  Those starches are a great way to store energy in the dormant seed but when baby wakes up, he wants some sugar.  Water triggers this process because well duh, think about it.  What season always proceeds the growing season?  RAIN.  April showers bring May flowers and all that jazz.  So the first step to turning the starch in our barley into fermentable sugars is to soak them in water.

Below the Surface

Indulge me if you will in a brief, and hopefully digestible, explanation of what’s going on inside that seed during the germination process.  Basically water triggers the proteins to turn ON and send out enzymatic messengers that initiate the conversion of starch chains to individual sugars.  What’s more, these enzymes help break down the cell wall of the barley which makes it softer and more pliable—very essential to the mashing stage later on in production.  Finally the enzymes also breakdown other proteins present in the grain into amino acids.  Amino acids are needed by the embryo to build structure but can make trouble for the brewer.  They don’t alter the flavor but they do accumulate in the liquid and make the beer hazy.  Cloudy beers are not appetizing beers.   When we see stuff “floating” in our liquid, our brain doesn’t associate that with happy feelings.  Instead it’s DANGER WILL ROBINSON this stuff is gonna make you sick.  

Meanwhile that embryo, the endosperm, starts to sprout.  You know, that green little thing that sticks out the end of a seed to signify it is growing into a real boy?  So the trick here is to stop the process before too many amino acids are broken down and before the plant starts to really develop.  After all we want to get those sugars released but save them, greedily, for our own inebriated purposes.

For this to work of course the first step is to have viable barley.  True the embryo is dormant but it still needs to be alive.  Dead barley tells no bar tales.  This is easy enough for brewers to test using a dye that living barley will cause to turn red.  Got it?  Okay good.

Malting Process

The right amount of water is important.  Too much and you can halt the germination process.  Why?  Well again, in times of big floods the seeds aren’t going to stay lodged in the ground are they?  Plus oxygen is also a key component to the growth process of the plant.  Too much water restricts any access of oxygen to the embryo and again that’s no bueno for baby.   Thus the malting process in brewing is a set of soaks, rests and drying over several days that is repeated to ensure “swamping” doesn’t occur.

Once the seed reaches a moisture content of just under 50% it gets transferred to the malting (germination) floor and air dried to halt the process.  Then it’s sent to the kiln to finish it off and that’s where you can roast the barley to your desired taste level.  The intensity of the malt will largely determine what kind of beer you produce.   Darker malts are far more aromatic and produce much stronger tasting beers.   Wheat Malt (produced from wheat), Plisner (lagers) and Pale Malt (ales) are among the lightest varieties.  Ales stretch from Caramel, Amber, Crystal, Chocolate and the darkest: Black Malts.  Darker lagers usually feature “Vienna” or “Munich” malts.    The darker malts are used pretty much exclusively for porters and stouts.

What is Malt Extract?

Malt extract is a sweet, syrupy and molasses like substance produced when brewers extract the sugars from malted barley grains and then concentrate it.  This substance can be used in the brewing process OR used similarly to molasses in baked goods.  Think of it as high-fructose corn syrup but made from barley and high in the sugar maltose instead.  Many a bagel or loaf of delicious bread has been made using this stuff.

Today we are going to use it instead to create a delicious baste for a roast chicken!  I got the original version of this recipe from one of my magazines in a Thanksgiving Edition.  It was used to prep a Turkey and not a Chicken, but since Thanksgiving is still over a month away and I had a chicken to use up, I went for the smaller bird.  Let me tell you: if you save this to use for Thanksgiving, it will wow everyone at the table.  The smell, the flavor…ermahbird it was frelling fantastic.  I tweaked a few things in the recipe, whipped up gravy from drippings (to which I added mushrooms and tarragon) and finally I used my tried and true roasting method rather than the instructions they listed.  The result was a perfectly cooked chicken with no section too dry or undercooked and leftovers that did not last very long.  I can and do judge a recipe by how quickly the leftovers are eaten or in some cases, not eaten, up.  It’s not always the fault of the recipe.  Some foods just don’t keep well past the day they are made so I try not to let that color my perception of a dish.  This chicken though was devoured rapidly and the gravy, of which for the first time in my life I made too much of rather than too late, was repurposed for many other dishes.  In short: winner winner chicken dinner!

 

Malt Glazed Roast Chicken
Adapted from Bon Appetit November 2010 Read more

Feasting at Illyrio’s table

Illyrio believes in no cause but Illyrio. Gluttons are greedy men as a rule, and magisters are devious. Illyrio Mopatis is both.

The serving men brought out…veal cutlets blanched in almond milkcandied onions….”Mushrooms” the magister announced …“kissed with garlic and bathed in butter.”  Recipe follows my review of the final Hugo Nominee:  A Dance with Dragons

The Hugo Awards will be announced tomorrow!  I’m oddly excited…maybe this is how people feel about leading up to the Oscars.  I never really understood that.  I mean in the industry sure, of course you’re excited, but the average American at home?  Why would you throw entire parties for them?  I figure that for most people it’s still about seeing the celebrities, the fashion, the hope for a nipslip and the hosting.  If you get a great comic the evening is fun to watch and if you get a bad one you have bitchy gossip fodder for work that Monday.  Still I always wondered why anyone would care about who actually wins the awards.  It’s not like the viewer wins anything….

But I suppose I get it now.  With the Oscars I never watched all the films in the categories so it was hard to really care.  Since I’ve read ALL the books, and scifi/fantasy is a niche paradise for me, I’m genuinely interested to see who wins.

I saved A Dance with Dragons for last because it was the book I had read first and I read it long before embarking on my quest to read all the nominees this year.  My goal was to get through the entire series one more time before this weekend and I didn’t quite make that happen.  I saw I just didn’t have enough time so I at least re-read Dance because I was hoping a second run through would cleanse my palate a bit from the first.  See the first time I read the book I devoured it with a ferocious hunger in my belly screaming to be quelled.  You know how when you are hungry and go grocery shopping literally everything sounds delicious?  Ooooh cucumbers.  I totally need to buy 5 cucumbers!  And apples.  And chicken.  And chocolate.  Then before you know it you have more food than you can possibly eat, some of it you might even actually like, and it goes rotten.  That was how I felt after waiting 7 frakking years for this book.  Speaking of if you haven’t heard of Paul and Storm, they are a folk music group that write songs about geeky things.  They have a song about George RR Martin and these books.  You need to listen.  Stop reading and listen.  Seriously.  It’s hilarious.

Warning: here be dragons (spoilers) 

I’ll have some generic comments on the novel, how it ultimately made me feel, and then maybe more specific commentary on characters.  It’s tricky because with these books even listing the names of the characters I want to talk about is spoilerish since that reveals if they have managed to survive George Martin’s deadly world.  If you haven’t read to the 5th novel or are only watching along with the show please do not read the “character discussion” section.

Thoughts on the novel overall: This was not the best written of the bunch.  I still think that books 2 and 3 had some of the greatest moments in them.  Book three especially managed to be compelling to the point that I could read it and forget to eat, or sleep, or bathe.  Well okay I could forget to sleep or bathe.  George writes about food too often for my stomach to not make itself known.  The reasoning behind why this book isn’t the best is fairly simple: he’s filling in a lot of gaps. A Feast for Crows had come out 7 years before and it only dealt with half of the cast Martin has now brought into the fold.  It ignored a lot of the fan favorites, much to our chagrin, but it did flesh out some new and compelling characters.  The problem is that Dance takes place more or less simultaneously with Feast and so I almost want to read the books together just to keep everything straight.  Plus in order to fill in gaps for Feast a lot of what our various narrators do during the fifth book is travel and the travel scenes are boring.  They do a lot of what I tend to complain about most with books and films: telling not showing.  At this point if Martin needs to kill some folks off to keep each following book contained chronologically, I say do it.  I think this was a big part of what held Dance back.  Plot development was minimal and that always bothers me.

Character Discussion: Spoilers below.  Highlight to read.

WHY ARE ALL MY FAVORITES SO USELESS IN THIS BOOK????  Seriously Tyrion spends his time drunk, belittled and wandering around trying to find his way to Daenarys.  Dany, previously a paragon of strong womanhood, spends her time deliberating over whether she should marry some guy who makes her hornier than a rabbit at easter or marry another guy because she needs a man to validate her authority in a male-dominated society that she had already conquered.  What?!  Arya gets two or three chapters and we still don’t know what the hell she’s up to.   Jaime Lannister gets a random chapter and Cersei is basically humiliated to a point that I want them to just stop.  She was never really that evil to begin with.

Jon Snow is the only one who actually has an interesting character development as he must learn how to lead the Night’s Watch and prepare for winter.  It wasn’t action packed but at least he was doing something.  Then it ends with him getting stabbed to death.  Are you kidding me?!  Okay Jon can’t die.  We know the red priest Thoros who travelled with Dondarrion could revive people so Melisandre presumably has some power too.  There’s no fucking way Jon Snow is dying without finding out he’s really the son of Rhaegar Targaryn and Lyanna Stark.  That would be cruel GRRM.  I know that’s his true parentage.  OUT WITH IT ALREADY!!!

The most interesting characters were the Greyjoys.  Never thought I’d say that.  Of course by interesting I mean the most disturbing storyline to read because Reek (néeTheonGreyjoy) witnesses and is victim some of the most disturbing sociopathic behavior yet put to paper.   Here we though Joffery was messed up…damn that Bastard Bolton is seriously fucked up.   Still it’s at least compelling to read even if some parts causes my lunchtime meal to come round for another visit as I read.  I also find myself really liking Asha.  I’ve gotta give Martin credit for the fact that he consistently writes really strong, interesting female characters. 

So there you have it.  Dance with Dragons just kind of stagnates and it is especially frustrating for the fans of certain characters as I mentioned above.  My sincerest hope is that this telling serves as enough of a set up for some serious plot movement in the next book…and that I don’t waste away like a holocaust victim waiting for it.  Oh George, in the words of my favorite geek-folk music duo Paul and Storm, “Write George, write like the wind.

As for my feasting, I didn’t want to pick a recipe that spoil things so since Illyrio is a relatively minor character in the books I chose a meal from his table.  Thus you know Illyrio makes an appearance in the book but I’m not going to tell you who dines with him.  The table took a good solid page to describe in entirety but since I don’t wish to resemble the portly magister, I picked just three items from the meal for my mini-feast.

Veal Cutlets blanched in Almond Milk

accompanied by

Candied Onions and Mushrooms in Garlic Butter Sauce

an Olivia Original inspired by “A Dance with Dragons” Read more

Think Thin Tuesday: Resolution #1 I am no Turkey

I’m writing this on the second day of the new year and the sun isn’t even up yet.  I won’t be posting it until tomorrow.  For some reason that seemed important.

2011 was a very strange year.  I started it feeling kind of lost and I ended it still feeling kind of lost but in a whole different forest.  There are some very interesting paths in front of me and right now I’m doing my best to straddle all of them because I hate missing opportunities.  I was in a tunnel for too much of college and I’m doing my best to counter that now.  New Years has that kind of infectious nature to it–it’s like starting a fresh journal in your own life and with that fresh start comes infinite possibility.

I had two major resolutions for 2011: No Relationships and No Buying TShirts.  (I own a lot of geeky shirts)  Well obviously the first resolution didn’t last, though I did make it 5 months exactly which is still the longest I’ve ever managed to stay single.  I am glad to say I managed to resist buying a plethora of geeky and adorable shirts no thanks to teefury and shirt.woot.  Evil temptresses!  2012 Resolutions?  I’m still formulating those.  There are a lot of things I want to do.  So much so that I am realizing now that my list of 101 in 1001 has reached its expiration date.  I might just write up a new one.  In the meantime here is my biggest resolution for 2012: No Fear.

For most though the new year resolution always brings with it the allure of getting fit.  So to help those of you on your “get healthy” journey I provide a delicious and healthy recipe for an Osso Bucco styled dish made with Turkey and very little fat.  It isn’t my original recipe but I love it for days when you want to be good on your diet plan.  You can indulge in this without an ounce of guilt.  Save that for the 78-88% (yup that’s the statistic) of failed resolutions.  Or better yet suck it up so you don’t have to suck it in and beat the odds.  With recipes like these, dieting will be easy.  Exercise…that I can’t help you with.  Best part is it’s under 200 calories a serving so if you want to double up and make this the entire meal, go ahead.  Indulge and feel absolutely amazing about doing it.

Turkey Osso Bucco

from Bon Apetit Magazine

  • 1 teaspoon dried thyme
  • 2 whole turkey legs (about 31/4 pounds total), cut at  joints into drumsticks and thighs, skin removed
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 2 medium onions, chopped
  • 2 medium carrots, peeled, chopped
  • 2 celery stalks, chopped
  • 6 garlic cloves, minced, divided
  • 1/2 cup dry red wine
  • 1 28-ounce can diced tomatoes in juice

Gremolata

  • 1/4 cup chopped fresh Italian parsley
  • 1 teaspoon grated lemon peel

Rub thyme over turkey; sprinkle with salt and pepper.  Transfer to 6-quart slow cooker. Heat oil in large nonstick skillet over  medium-high heat. Add onions, carrots, and celery; sauté 8 minutes. Stir in 4  minced garlic cloves. Transfer vegetables to  slow cooker. Add wine to skillet;  boil until reduced by 1/3, about 1 minute. Pour wine and tomatoes with juice  over turkey. Cover; cook on high until turkey is very tender and falls off bone,  about 5 1/2 hours.

Mix parsley, peel, and  remaining garlic in bowl for gremolata. Using slotted spoon, remove turkey from  pot. Pull meat from bones; divide meat among 6 bowls. Season sauce with salt and  pepper; spoon over turkey. Sprinkle with gremolata.

6 servings. Per serving: calories, 198; total fat, 5 g; saturated fat, 1 g; cholesterol,  89 mg; fiber, 4 g

Belated Thanksgiving

Turkey 2008

For the two or three (if I’m lucky haha) people out there who read this blog…no I haven’t died from gangrene as a result of my ankle injury.  It has finally healed and juggling that and fall coursework has left me little time to update/spend time photographing my kitchen kinesthetics.   I’m going to remedy that starting today!

100_1078Thanksgiving came a few days late this year for my family.  My university is pretty stingy with holidays, I had a midterm on the 26th, so I couldn’t possibly get home in time to cook.  The solution was pretty easy: postpone.  We celebrated on Saturday and no one complained.  Especially because it meant I could brine the turkey this year.  Brining = Magic.  If you want a perfect Turkey use a brine, you will be rewarded for your patience.

Turkey Day MenuSweet Potatoes

  • Turkey w/Gravy – Rosemary, Thyme, Garlicky goodness
  • Challah Stuffing – Fresh sage and dried cranberries for some kick
  • Port Cinnamon Cranberry sauce – An old Bon Apetit recipe
  • Cheesy Mashed then Baked Potatoes
  • Sweet Potato Fries – Sea Salt, Paprika, Rosemary and Ground Pepper
  • Garlic Asparagus – wrapped in bunches with roasted green onion
  • Apple Pie – Some help from Dorie/Alton
  • Pumpkin Cheesecake w/whipped Vanilla Cream

That’s MY idea of a great vacation!  I was given permission to make as big a mess in the kitchen as I wanted and boy did I ever but nobody complained.  Not while they were eating anyway.  When it came time to clean up the kitchen there were definitely some teasing comments.  I tried to clean up while I cooked, honestly!  I really did.  Oh well.

Day 1 - Bake Challah

Day 1 - Bake Challah

Day 2 - Turn into Stuffing

Day 2 - Turn into Stuffing

Apple Pie w/Honey Crisps and Granny Smiths

Apple Pie w/Honey Crisps and Granny Smiths

Pumpkin Cheesecake

Pumpkin Cheesecake

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