A Nutso Breastful Morning
AKA My Monday Morning Madness – sorry for the weird halo on these photos but this is a comfort dinner that I was eager to bite into…photography kind of took a back seat. Pictured with a feta, pear and kale salad and some faux-tatoes.
I spent the past weekend down in socal again. I can’t believe how much of my time has been spent in LA the last year. This pat weekend was another epic movie marathon but it was also some time for me to do some filming. By which I mean acting. By which I mean speaking actual lines; something I haven’t done since high school but more on that later. Instead this is the story of yesterday morning following my trip away.
See Friday night on my way down I got a request at work for a meeting Monday morning at 7:30 AM. This is pretty early for my company and most of my team doesn’t come in until after 8 but I am always in the door around 6:50AM. No problem I say, I will handle it. The whole weekend I suffered nightmares, many of which involved my missing this meeting and wouldn’t you know it, Monday morning everything that could go wrong did.
I wasn’t coming in from the Sacramento region on my reliable company bus, I was coming up from Redwood City. A whole new world of transit hell. I planned to take an early CalTrain that would get me into the office at 6:15AM. I wanted to catch that train because the only alternatives would get me in at 7:00 or 7:15 leaving very little wiggle room for my 7:30AM meeting. Of course I missed that train by about 30 seconds because I was stuck on the wrong side of the platform after fighting with the ticket machine for 5 minutes.
Okay fine, I’ll catch the 7:00 train and still be safe. I’ll even take a cab from the train depot to the building I’m in. BAM! Train gets cancelled five minutes before it’s supposed to arrive and the one after it is running late by almost 20 minutes. No way to get to the office before 7:45 using public transit. Time to hail a cab. Yup I took a cab from Redwood City to South San Francisco and it was not a cheap ride but I had given my word I would be at work for this meeting.
When I say I’m going to do something, I do it. At least that’s been my modus operandi in my professional life since starting up in the pharma world several months ago. I’m trying to extend this mentality to all aspects of my life. I know that some of my friends have been left by the wayside and I’m going to try to juggle them back into the ring. It is important to me that I keep up on these types of things, that I don’t go back on my word because the sense of accomplishment it gives me is vital. I am a purpose driven person.
It wasn’t always this way, I used to be crippled by severe anxiety and depression. Some days it would be so bad that I would suddenly feel afraid, terrified but for no actual reason, and II would not be able to get out of bed. One time I was on my way to class and just about to enter the door when the feeling was so overwhelming I couldn’t bring myself to open the lecture hall door. I turned around and ran all the way to my apartment with a sick feeling of dread that had completely taken me over. The cycle always increased and spiraled more when I was unable to fulfill obligations or meet goals. I know that accomplishing things, whether it’s getting to a meeting on time, making it to a shoot or actually meeting my friends when I say I will, fights back those darker feelings.
So yes I took a cab. Then I got to the building with 7 minutes to spare, threw my bags from the weekend in the first floor storage room (no time to get to my office) and then I ran between buildings in south campus to get everything I needed to prepare for this meeting. Yes literal running, heels be damned. And you know what? I made it. I did it all and got it done. It was chaotic, heart pounding but knowing that I can be reliable and make things happen? That’ s the greatest kind of reward I could get because I know that when nothing else goes right in the world, I can count on myself to find a way.
Chicken Scallopine with Hazelnut Cream Sauce Read more
