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Jan 4

Bad Apple(sauce)

For a few years time I hated applesauce and butterscotch pudding. Basically from the age of 17-20 or so I couldn’t stand the stuff. It reminded me of my tonsillectomy when I was 17 because all I subsisted on for the days following that surgery was pudding, applesauce, lukewarm chicken broth and large amounts of ground up Oxycontin. Most kids get a laptop or money when they graduate highschool. Me? I got to have incredibly painful surgery. In fact the timing lined up with my 17th birthday so it wasn’t just a graduation gift, but a birthday present as well.

There is a very big lie associated with getting your tonsils removed. TV and people always make a big deal out of how you get to live off ice cream afterwards. They are all frelling lying to you. Ice Cream HURTS after that surgery. It’s just too damn cold on your throat and makes you want to die. Biggest let down of my life. I had to eat foods that were at room temperature to even be able to handle it.

Upside: I lost weight. Downside:I spent the week following conscious only long enough to eat my tablespoon of soft food which really only served as a delivery vehicle for crushed drugs.

But no more do I abhor applesauce. Butterscotch pudding and I still have a shaky relationship, but my bad memories of applesauce have since faded enough for me to appreciate its rustic charm and thank goodness I have because I had it on hand to make a batch of Dorie’s Applesauce Spice Bars.

If I didn’t know better I’d think I baked some Oxycontin in with these things. They are habit forming more than any other bar/brownie recipe I’ve ever tried. So I am giving you fair warning: if you are trying to diet for a new year’s resolution, stay away from this recipe. If on the other hand you want to go the “Eat Pray Love” track and stuff yourself with all delicious carbs until you need new pants, this is a great place to start.

I’ve made these three times now and I definitely prefer applejack to dark rum, golden raisins and I liked them better with the pecans.  I also found that I need double the recipe for the glaze to actually get a thick coating like in Dorie’s pictures.  This is my third batch and I made more of a caramel for it which I felt was too sweet but everyone else loved it.   Also I’d suggest waiting until the bars are completely cool before glazing…otherwise they will just absorb the mixture.

Dorie Greenspan’s Applesauce Spice Bars  Baking: From my home to yours

For the Bars

  • 1-1/4 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  •  1/4 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground allspice
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1 stick (8 tablespoons) unsalted butter
  • 1 cup (packed) light brown sugar
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
  • 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
  • 1 tablespoon applejack, brandy or dark rum (optional)
  • 1 baking apple, such as Rome or Cortland, peeled, cored and finely diced or chopped
  • 1/2 cup plump, moist raisins (dark or golden)
  • 1/2 cup chopped pecans

For the Glaze

  • 2-1/2 tablespoons heavy cream
  • 1/3 cup (packed) light brown sugar
  • 2-1/2 tablespoons unsalted butter
  • 1 teaspoon light corn syrup
  •  1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

GETTING READY: Center a rack in the oven and preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Butter a 9-x-13 inch baking pan, line the bottom with parchment paper, butter the paper and dust the inside of the pan with flour. Tap out the excess flour and put the pan on a baking sheet.

THE BARS: Whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, spices and salt.In a medium heavy-bottomed saucepan, melt the butter over low heat. Add the brown sugar and stir with a whisk until it is melted and the mixture is smooth, about 1 minute. Remove the pan from the heat.

Still working in the saucepan, whisk in the eggs one at a time, mixing until they are well blended. Add the applesauce, vanilla and applejack, if you’re using it, and whisk until the ingredients are incorporated and the mixture is once again smooth. Switch to a rubber spatula and gently stir in the dry ingredients, mixing only until they disappear, then mix in the apple, raisins and nuts. Scrape the batter into the prepared pan and smooth the top with a rubber spatula. Bake for 23 to 25 minutes, or until the cake just starts to pull away from the sides of the pan and a knife inserted into the center comes out clean. Transfer the baking pan to a rack and let the cake cool while you make the glaze.

THE GLAZE: In a small saucepan, whisk together the cream, sugar, butter and corn syrup. Put the pan over medium heat and bring the mixture to the boil, whisking frequently. Adjust the heat so that the glaze simmers, and cook, whisking frequently, for 5 minutes. Remove the pan from the heat and stir in the vanilla. Turn the bars out onto a rack, remove the paper and invert the bars onto another rack, so they are right side up. Slide the parchment paper under the rack to serve as a drip catcher, grab a long metal icing spatula and pour the hot glaze over the bars, using the spatula to spread it evenly over the cake. Let cool to room temperature before cutting. Cut into 32 rectangles, each about 2-1/4 x 1-1/2 inches.

Jan 3

Think Thin Tuesday: Resolution #1 I am no Turkey

I’m writing this on the second day of the new year and the sun isn’t even up yet.  I won’t be posting it until tomorrow.  For some reason that seemed important.

2011 was a very strange year.  I started it feeling kind of lost and I ended it still feeling kind of lost but in a whole different forest.  There are some very interesting paths in front of me and right now I’m doing my best to straddle all of them because I hate missing opportunities.  I was in a tunnel for too much of college and I’m doing my best to counter that now.  New Years has that kind of infectious nature to it–it’s like starting a fresh journal in your own life and with that fresh start comes infinite possibility.

I had two major resolutions for 2011: No Relationships and No Buying TShirts.  (I own a lot of geeky shirts)  Well obviously the first resolution didn’t last, though I did make it 5 months exactly which is still the longest I’ve ever managed to stay single.  I am glad to say I managed to resist buying a plethora of geeky and adorable shirts no thanks to teefury and shirt.woot.  Evil temptresses!  2012 Resolutions?  I’m still formulating those.  There are a lot of things I want to do.  So much so that I am realizing now that my list of 101 in 1001 has reached its expiration date.  I might just write up a new one.  In the meantime here is my biggest resolution for 2012: No Fear.

For most though the new year resolution always brings with it the allure of getting fit.  So to help those of you on your “get healthy” journey I provide a delicious and healthy recipe for an Osso Bucco styled dish made with Turkey and very little fat.  It isn’t my original recipe but I love it for days when you want to be good on your diet plan.  You can indulge in this without an ounce of guilt.  Save that for the 78-88% (yup that’s the statistic) of failed resolutions.  Or better yet suck it up so you don’t have to suck it in and beat the odds.  With recipes like these, dieting will be easy.  Exercise…that I can’t help you with.  Best part is it’s under 200 calories a serving so if you want to double up and make this the entire meal, go ahead.  Indulge and feel absolutely amazing about doing it.

Turkey Osso Bucco

from Bon Apetit Magazine

  • 1 teaspoon dried thyme
  • 2 whole turkey legs (about 31/4 pounds total), cut at  joints into drumsticks and thighs, skin removed
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 2 medium onions, chopped
  • 2 medium carrots, peeled, chopped
  • 2 celery stalks, chopped
  • 6 garlic cloves, minced, divided
  • 1/2 cup dry red wine
  • 1 28-ounce can diced tomatoes in juice

Gremolata

  • 1/4 cup chopped fresh Italian parsley
  • 1 teaspoon grated lemon peel

Rub thyme over turkey; sprinkle with salt and pepper.  Transfer to 6-quart slow cooker. Heat oil in large nonstick skillet over  medium-high heat. Add onions, carrots, and celery; sauté 8 minutes. Stir in 4  minced garlic cloves. Transfer vegetables to  slow cooker. Add wine to skillet;  boil until reduced by 1/3, about 1 minute. Pour wine and tomatoes with juice  over turkey. Cover; cook on high until turkey is very tender and falls off bone,  about 5 1/2 hours.

Mix parsley, peel, and  remaining garlic in bowl for gremolata. Using slotted spoon, remove turkey from  pot. Pull meat from bones; divide meat among 6 bowls. Season sauce with salt and  pepper; spoon over turkey. Sprinkle with gremolata.

6 servings. Per serving: calories, 198; total fat, 5 g; saturated fat, 1 g; cholesterol,  89 mg; fiber, 4 g

Dec 17

Getting Personal

This is the story about my chickenshit end to life in Davis California. Some fools out there on the interwebs indicated they’d like to see posts like these here too.  Normally I’d keep this to myself in a black journal but you asked for it….

I keep fighting back the urge to cry.  I have been doing this for months.  I don’t think I’ve even really talked to my boyfriend about it because when I did he would encourage me to reach out.  And I was just too fucking scared to do it.I moved out of my apartment today.  I need to go back and clean tomorrow, but for all that matters, I’m gone from where I lived the last year.  I don’t miss the apartment itself.  Truth is it was kind of a dump.  Nice floors but old, old wiring, two prong outlets, wall unit furnace…well there are nicer places I’ve lived.  I loved the people though.  I loved my calming roommate from January – August who then became a neighbor, I loved the beautiful and emotional girl next door and I loved her vegan, idealistic counterpart who shared that two bedroom with her.  But I don’t think they know it at all.  I haven’t really spoken or spent time with them in a meaningful way in months. Read more

Dec 17

All it takes is a little Mussel

Curried Mussel Bisque

“Mussels”…because I’m moving and all day today. HAR HAR HAR.  But yes I am moving out of my old apartment.  Don’t actually have a new place to live yet so I’m moving my stuff into a PODS container.  Ya know, those big storage containers that you can fill up and send off to be kept in a warehouse until you need it.  I need to do this because funny thing, my parents don’t have room for an entire apartment of furniture in their house.  Who knew??  So yes still living with them for now.  I probably will until June so I can save some money because living in San Francisco is expensive. In the meantime I’m sure I’ll have to cook for these people.  Gosh I can’t just live at home free of charge?  I have to DO THINGS for you guys?  Fine….

My favorite soup for a family dinner is this recipe from “The New England Soup Factory Cookbook” and with Christmas coming up and extended family invading homes, I wanted to share this recipe.  It can go more formal if you really want and serve it with your Christmas Dinner but I think it’s a lot more fun for a different night of the week when you can encourage people to use their hands.

It’s not a 30 minute meal, but it does cook up fairly quickly.  There is a lot of prep work with soaking and scrubbing the mussels so overall this takes about an hour.  It will depend on the mussels you get because you’ll basically simmer the soup until all (or most) of them have opened up and not much longer past that moment.  Nothing worse than overcooked shellfish.

The flavor in this soup is phenomenal.  I’m a huge fan of seafood, especially shellfish (bad jewish girl I know) and i think that’s largely because I was born and lived in Maine for the first 5 ½ years of my life.  It may be s(h)ellfish on my part but I just can’t keep Kosher if it means giving up my fried clams.

Of course the best part about this soup is that you can use the mussel shells themselves to scoop up the broth and slurp it loudly Japanese style.  My mom hates that.  Actually I usually do too, but for this soup you just can’t help wanting to enjoy it as obnoxiously as possible to rub it in to others around you how damn good dinner is. Read more

Dec 14

If I could bake 1000 Miles….

3000 miles -175 miles – 75 miles / 30 miles.  All worth it for the best cookies you will ever put in your mouth or any other orifice for that matter.

I seem to keep falling into these long distance relationships. Admittedly I have managed to “close the gap” with each successive boyfriend.  I went from dating someone across the country, to someone across state lines and now relocation for my new job has inserted some distance into my 7 month relationship.  I’m not sure by which distance I ought to measure it since I spend the majority of my weekdays commuting to/from/in South San Francisco for work.  When I’m home I’m only 30 miles away, but most of the time I’m within some range of 30-75 miles.  For those of you doing the math that means yes, I commute 45 miles each way for work.

Why am I so hung up on these numbers?  In the past my last two relationships started out long distance so while it was difficult, it was also the status quo.  For a short time this past year I started to wonder if I could only keep relationships when they were long distance, and since they are past they obviously failed so I couldn’t even do that well.

Failed? Maybe that’s the wrong word.  I’ve never felt like a failure for those relationships ending.  Ultimately in a relationship you come to a place where you’ve discovered all the differences between you and your partner and you have to decide if those differences can enrich or break the promise of a future together.  So I guess the ending wasn’t what worried me, just the fact that the only relationships I’d ever had were mostly over phone/email/text/video chat and not real life.

The last few months have proven that those fears were unfounded.  I went from long distance to seeing Peter Parker damn near every day for 7 months now. It’s also been the healthiest, least conflict ridden relationship I’ve ever been in despite a few bumps toward the beginning.  I can’t help but think that seeing someone more often than once a month helps calm the ocean under your relation-ship. Which is why the transition into “Weekend Girlfriend” is affecting me so much despite my years of experience doing the long distance thing.

Sadly I just don’t have any choice in the matter.  Spiderman has school and I have to make money.  Seeing each other on weekends isn’t ideal but it’s still certainly better than once a month.  Eventually, when I get a handle on my schedule, I would like to bake cookies every Thursday night to take up with me on the weekends for the boy.  I used to always keep the cookie jar full when we were pseudo-living together and doing something nice like this will help 1) soothe my anxiety* and 2) be a good gesture on my part.   Of course I’ll have to make double batches so my brothers and stepdad can have some cookies too.

*Baking in general helps calm me during my anxiety attack moments. Routine also provides a sense of comfort to me. When I’m feeling sad (rather than anxious) I love to make soup. I’m strange. I know.

Read more

Dec 12

Muffin Monday: The nuts have it

A friend posted this article about Tim Tebow.  Tebow is the quarterback for the Denver Broncos and happens to be extremely religious.  The article seems to conclude that it isn’t so much the fact that he’s Christian (I mean really who would allege that Americans don’t like religion with their sports?) but that Tebow seems to practice extreme “goodness”

and we as Americans, don’t trust that.

Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.

Truth is, we get burned so much by our heroes in life, that the only logical outcome is to become cynical of everyone.  The louder you are about your supposed goodness the more we think you have to hide.  In life anyone who comes off as a good person is a magician using charity and religion as tools of misdirection from their affairs, dog fighting rings, drug abuse and general nuttiness. As cynics we want people to be visibly crazy.  Since it seems like no human being is incapable of vice, it seems better to just know their flaws up front so there aren’t any surprises.

There is also an impulse in many to see the pious, the prosperous and the pretty dragged down into the muck.  I’m not going to get into that particularly fun human psychological quirk today.  It certainly would add another dimension to this topic, but right now I just want to evaluate the true desire by many to find a hero to believe in.

I had a hard time when I was thinking about this in defining exactly where I stand.  I certainly prefer nutters to people who seem to be 100% straight edged.  That’s not to say I approve of philandering or screaming obscenities through your wife over the phone but if you’re going to wear a dress made of meat, I like knowing that something is a little off.  The nasty surprises are never fun.  In the world of science fiction and comic book conventions there is a lot, and I mean a LOT of hero worship.  I can’t say I don’t have a few people who seem to be amazing human beings and who I’d be really distraught over discovering some truly fatal flaw.  I was prepared to call myself a cynic but that realization made me step back and reevaluate the situation.

I think people need something to believe in.  For some that’s a religious document that is infallible by self-definition and therefore one of the most comfortable things to invest faith into.  Many others tend to idolize heroes through sports, television shows or most often disappointing, politicians.  Unfortunately these men and women tend to be exposed to the most vice through fame and fortune and thus repeatedly let us down.  People want to have something, or someone, to believe in and to aspire to but that conflicts with a long history of disappointment.  Most people also don’t want to be let down and won’t be able to turn a blind eye when that happens.  In fact, those who are so adamant to a certain belief that they refuse to operate outside it (e.g. religious “zealots”) tend to be disliked by society for that blend of stubborn naivete.“Why when I talk about belief, why do you always assume I’m talking about God? …. I don’t care what you believe in, just believe in it.” –Shepherd Book in “Serenity”

Realizing now that I’m cynical enough to suspect a person who appears to live by “wholesome” and “good” standards but still a hero worshipper, I wonder: is there a way to balance our desire for the nuts with the wholesome goodness we want to believe in? Maybe that’s why the scifi world is where I’m most comfortable with both sides of myself.  The people in it are quirky and flawed, but in ways that don’t detract from their character…well some of them anyway.  Maybe the real problem is that we search outside ourselves for something concrete to rely on, maybe we should only look internally for that sort of inspiration.   But aren’t there are times in life when you need something or someone to inspire you onward when your own feet seem to fail or the path seems unclear?  Or are we all just a little nuts for that?

Banana Nut Muffins
Makes 12 regular sized muffins Read more

Dec 10

Quick Send in the Clowns

Oh, don’t bother, they’re here.

My life has turned into such a circus and I feel like I’m the one cleaning up after Elephants rather than the Ringleader.  Every time I grab control of the whip it slips out of my grasp but I do think I’m getting closer.

Work: I’m starting to get a rhythm there and everyone is amazingly nice.  I just didn’t know initially going in that the position was through a contract (i.e. no benefits/no sick leave/no paid vacation) and didn’t find out until I went in to do my paperwork with the recruiting agency.  Maybe it would have been obvious to some, I’ve just never used a recruiter before and didn’t realize this was how it went.  Plus there is a time limit to how long I can stay here, and now that I’m really liking the work and the world, that sucks too.  Unless I manage to get in as a permanent employee, my time is up after 2 years max.  Keep fingers crossed for me.

Living Situation: My apartment in Davis is in the final stages of paperwork to be sublet.  YAY…with some reservations.  It could crap out on me again so I’m not going to celebrate until the last T has been crossed and the ink has dried.  Still that will be wonderful.  Moneywise I’m not sure I can afford the cost of living of moving to South San Francisco anytime soon so I’ll probably be commuting in from Fairfield for a while.  To those not in the bay area, that’s a 50 mile distance with city rush hour traffic.  It’s not great but it is at least showing signs of improvement.  Meanwhile I’m living at home and well…look, what 23 year old really wants to live with their parents?  Exactly.  Especially when home also has two 16 year olds and 5 dogs.

Boyfriend: Lives in Davis.  I only get to see him on weekends and even then usually he will have things going on.  It’s pretty crummy after getting used to basically living with someone for the last 6 months.  Damn.  It’s been over 6 months….  But really life?  Why is it that I keep ending up in long-term, long distance relationships?

Friends: I feel like I’ve abandoned them all.  I’m basically physically unreachable to any of them and I have an hour window in the evenings where I can call one to catch up providing I have the energy to do so.Christmas: I have not bought any gifts yet.  Zip. Zilch.

Time: I have no time for anything anymore.  It’s kind of sad.  My schedule has me up at 4:30AM, out the door at 5:30 AM and then I’m not home until sometime between 6PM-8PM on weeknights.  (The delay depends on traffic and if I miss the early bus home)

Some people say success is managing to find the right balance.  Right now for me, success means catching the ball just before it hits the ground.  Maybe in time I’ll get this circus life of mine under control.  Until then, send in the clowns.

Cotton Candy Cupcakes Read more

Dec 2

Pictures Missing

I stupidly didn’t realize the re-organizing picasa on my desktop was going to be synced with my online photo hosting.  Some posts are missing their photos.  I’ll fix that this weekend and I PROMISE I’ll start updating again.  My schedule these days is crazy.  (I leave the house at 5:30AM every morning and get home either at 5:30PM or 7:30PM depending on if I catch the 4PM or 5PM bus)

 

Back Soon!

Love Olivia

Nov 14

Muffin Monday: Citrus Currant Sunshine Muffins

Citrus Currant Sunshine Muffins

Life is hard and people suck.  Who knew that getting a job offer was going to make my life so complicated?

Roommate A was moving out December 31st and Roommate B was moving in January 1. Now that I’m moving, I notified Roommate B that I have to leave.  She had yet to pay her deposit and is pulling out of the lease (without the deposit the lease apparently dissolves) despite my offer to pay for my room through the end of the lease.  SO now I need to find someone to replace her, eventually replace me and inform Roommate A that this is happening because girl B is refusing to cooperate at all.  What has happened to world that people can’t at the very least apologize directly when abandoning their responsibilities?

I’m just so tired.  I have done everything honestly and, I believe, I go out of my way to make sure people are accommodated.  It would be so nice if for once, someone was willing to work with me but I’ve learned that in life the only way to get things done really is to do it myself.  So I’m being proactive.  I found out this morning and have already put up ads everywhere and I’ve potentially got two interested parties.  What would be nice is if this annoying “The Sun will come out tomorrow” would stop playing in my head.   It’s annoying.

In the hopes that this offering will stop it I give you my attempt at Dorie Greenspan’s Citrus Currant Sunshine Muffins.  They came out very cakey to me but quite delicious.  The currants were an interesting twist but if you can’t get ahold of any, raisins or dried cranberries will also do.
Citrus-Currant Sunshine Muffins

Baking from My Home to Yours by Dorie Greenspan

  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • Grated zest of 1 orange
  • 2 cups AP flour
  • 2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
  • pinch of salt
  • 1 cup fresh orange juice
  • 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
  • 1/4 teaspoon pure lemon extract
  • 1 stick unsalted butter, melted and cooled
  • 2 large eggs
  • 3/4 cup moist, plump dried currants

Getting Ready: Center a rack in the oven and preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Butter or spray the 12 molds in a regular sized muffin tin or fit the molds with paper muffin cups.

In a large bowl, rub the sugar and orange zest together with your fingertips until the sugar is moist and the fragrance of orange is strong. Whisk in the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. In a large glass measuring cup or another bowl, whisk together the orange and lemon juices, lemon extract, melted butter and eggs. Pour the liquid ingredients over the dry ingredients and, with the whisk or rubber spatula, gently but quickly stir to blend. Don’t worry about being thorough – a few lumps are better than overmixing the batter. Fold in the currants.

Divide the batter evenly among the muffin cups.

Bake for about 20 minutes, or until the tops are golden and a thin knife inserted into the center of the muffins comes out clean. Transfer the pan to a rack and cool for 5 minutes before carefully removing each muffin from its mold.

Nov 13

Football Sunday: Fried Calamari

Any ladies (or gentlemen) out there bemoaning the return of flying pigskins and spouses hogging the remote? I was raised largely in a house absent of sports until my mom remarried when I was 14. At that time I hated that a game was always on every Sunday, Monday and occasionally during dinner. Sometime during my college years I developed a healthy appreciation for football and baseball. It helps of course that I don’t actually have cable anymore and can choose when I want to watch a game by going to my favorite pizza place for slices and beer while I watch. My “healthy appreciation” started from something completely unhealthy: sports snacks.I absolutely love the horrible, fattening junk food I eat mass quantities of only once a year on superbowl sunday.

My tolerance and enjoyment of football started with trips for hot wings during football season with my then boyfriend. I went for the hotwings and started to enjoy watching the games–for a person as competitive as me it wasn’t hard to get into. Many years later I may have left the boyfriend, but I kept the teams. Thankfully my growing interest in football lined up with the year of the 42nd superbowl when the Giants (my teams are all NY because New York City is my idea of heaven) played a great game against New England. That day I got to combine my competitive nature with food as I helped host a superbowl party.

Never before did I get to make so many delicious and artery clogging foods in one day. It was fattening but oh so satisfying.

Finger food is a lot of fun and while I don’t make it in the same quantities during the rest of the year as I do on the Superbowl, I like to dabble once in a while for parties or slow weekends. I had some leftover Calamari from a Hot Pot dinner my flatmates held recently and I thought what better way to use it up than by making fried calamari rings for the Giants game?  These can be challenging to make, and while this recipe was okay, I think I’m going to try Alton Brown’s next time.   It seems like it might be crunchier and more satisfying.  This recipe calls for Wondra Flour which is just a name brand for a low protein, instant flour.  The difference between this and AP (all purpose) Flour is that instant flour dissolves instantly in water–it undergoes “pregelatinization” which makes better for frying.  Wondra will “clump” up less resulting in a crispy, flaky crust on your calamari.  There really isn’t a good substitute though cake flour will come closest.

Fried Calamari

from “Fish Without a Doubt” Rick Moonen
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