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May 21

Polly Going Crackers

Systems Overhaul
You make it impossible
To do my job; Error.

Crackers and Hummus = best dinner plan ever.

Just a little haiku about how frelling crackers I am going here at work today. Systems have been changing over left and right, some without warning and some without adequate follow through. Our shipping system has been in the works to change for weeks and yet somehow almost no one received any of the the information to create a new account and now today it’s live with no way to access it. Meanwhile vendors are being problematic, schedules are filling up, directories are not directing…it’s just a bloody mess. The hardest part of my job though isn’t the technical hullabaloo that seems to occur on a regular basis, but interacting with people. It’s not that anyone I work with is particularly awful. I find that I like 99% of my colleagues and that is a rare thing indeed I believe. It’s just that I’m an introvert and no that doesn’t mean I hate people or have to be inherently shy. Introverts can be quiet wallflowers but that’s not what defines them.

What is an introvert? It’s someone who finds that interacting with most people requires an expenditure of energy versus an extrovert who gets a rush of dopamine and a charge from social engagement. An extrovert can enter a room full of strangers, flit from group to group making small talk and leave feeling awake and refreshed. An introvert can be perfectly fine in a similar social situation engaging with charming riposte but they will leave feeling tired and need some time to reflect, process and recharge. The more intimate the engagement, long time friends and such, the more comfortable the introvert will be. This is why introverts can spend days with the right people without feeling nearly so strong a “crash” as when around strangers.

Work colleagues aren’t strangers but there is a level of professionalism that must be maintained and boundaries that must be observed. An introvert will process this information constantly and thus find the social interaction at work very tiring. I especially find this to be difficult when stuck in situations where heads begin to butt. I’m a very strong willed person; prone to extreme stubbornness and fervor when I am knowledgeable or believe strongly in a subject. At work however, I find I defer more often than not out of constant fear over what I say and how I am saying it. I will make microsecond evaluations of every hand gesture, head cock and tone of voice in an attempt to quell my truculent nature and just get through the exchange. Couple that with some technical errors that are beyond my control and well, I get a bit cuckoo by week’s end. Not looking forward to this Friday I can tell you that much. Especially when I’ve become a bit of an ersatz IT guru and I know I’ll be asked for help with this damn shipping issue that I have no control over.

The introvert in me finds the ability to recharge in my baking/cooking endeavors. It is much to the frustration of family and some roommates I can think of who find it perplexing why I can be very angry when they come into the kitchen to question me while I’m baking. To most people, food is food and cooking is something done out of necessity rather than pleasure. I can certainly make cooking a social activity; in the past I’ve spent many a nights entertaining while cooking in the kitchen. The key element here though is that I was entertaining meaning I was “on” which as an introvert means expending energy. Cooking at the end of a long work day for me is a solitary activity that gives me something creative, physical and sensory to relax and focus my mind. Hence the feeling of intrusion when someone comes in and wants to know what I’m doing, how I’m doing it, steal a piece or just ask questions in general.

Gosh I must come off like a bitch here. How dare people want to know what I’m doing? I even find myself annoyingly high maintenance here. In any case what follows is a recipe for homemade crackers. It’s got a smaller list of ingredients than usual and the instructions are very simple. Plus this is a great bread dough to work out some aggression if you need something to punch, pinch and pull with the bonus of resulting in a delicious snack at the end.

Serve up these crackers with some homemade hummus dip. MMMMMM!

Lavash Crackers Read more

May 14

Muffin Monday: Women carrot-oo much about bikinis

This past weekend I was with some friends in Davis again where the temperatures were climbing to the 80s for the weekend. The Sacramento Area doesn’t really get a spring—the weather jumps straight to summer sunshine. I hadn’t packed a bathing suit since I’m not yet in the mindset for summer but a friend suggested we go spend time by the pool. I explained I didn’t have a suit and this friend suggested we just drop by target and buy me one.

I feel the need to point out this friend was a guy.

I then tried to explain, without success, the sheer horror of bathing suit shopping with women. While a man may experience the luxury of simple picking out a pattern he likes in one of three sizing options (board shorts, traditional boxer or speedo) the process is far more complicated for a female. For me it usually takes hours and devolves into a tantrum of self-loathing and tears before I find something, if anything, that works for me.  I was told to put on big girl panties and held back a diatribe about the agony of underwear shopping as well.

Admittedly the worst experiences in my mind are from when I was 16; the age when women are at the crux of hormonal body dysmorphia.    I don’t think I’ve had quite the equivalent meltdown since, but why take the risk on a perfectly lovely afternoon? For a time I wore board shorts and surfing tops since I was boarding and swimming in the ocean more often than a pool and that helped deal with the OMGIHATEMYBREASTS syndrome. Plus I’m so damn nearsighted at this point that swimming means removing contacts and rendering me legally blind so I really just don’t bother.

This process probably isn’t as painful for all women as it is for me and presumably quite more painful for others than I will ever know. Still one thing has been made clear from actual studies on the psychological impact of swimsuit shopping (no really they exist) and that is: IT SUCKS.  Really, they’ve done studies. Body image with women is such a troubling thing. Some girls bypass this pain completely by wearing t-shirts and shorts into the pool. Others avoid the water completely. The whole ordeal is a combination of bathing suits sold at ridiculous markup for women, flawed designs and the obligatory reference here to societal pressures of how women should look blah blah blah. The reality is that bathing suits do nothing to hide, flatter or fit for a price tag that’s at all reasonable. I’ve tried on some super high end suits and found that I’m able to at least tolerate them on my body. From my 23 years doing this I’ve learned a few things about swimsuit shopping with women:

1.            Buying a suit that fits anyone but a size 0 WILL cost you $$$. The problem is that most of the cheaper ones aren’t cut well despite ridiculous markup compared to what you’d find in the boys section of the store. Plus anything in a two piece (because one piece suits are remarkably annoying at times) is usually sold as a pair. I defy you to find statistical proof that most women can fit into these bundled sizes. So few of us are the same generic “large” for the top and bottom which means buying TWO suits or separates—and often for a triple digit price tag.

2.            Flat chested girls do have it easier. Maybe not in all walks of life or with all cuts of cloth, but I can promise you that while the top and bottom might still not align well for a fit, flat girls don’t have to worry about support. Support in a bra is hard enough to find for women with large tracts of land. Support in a swimsuit is even more challenging. You are limited to underwire that looks like your breasts are bending it in half or halter tops that dig into your neck over the course of several hours. You need to be sure that you are contained, covered and circumventing at potential prison break or horrifying nipple slip. The last bit probably applies to flat girls too struggling to keep their tops on so unity through nipples ladies! Also can someone explain to me why designers perpetually put PADDING in tops for large chested women? WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD?

3.            Cute suits only exist in tiny sizes. More or less explains itself. The bigger you get the blander and more generic your extremely expensive options are. Red, Black or White and only in one shape that may, or may not, make you want to seek and destroy all nautical themed goods for the rest of your life.

4.            Magazine Covers are unfair. There is no photoshop in real life and we rarely walk around the pool on tip toes or in heels like these ladies do. That kind of tilt really changes how the ass and legs look and even the most athletically fit woman can’t replicate that in flat feet. Those images are EVERYWHERE, even on the magazines selling us swimsuits that inspire such self-loathing. We then shell out money to buy those suits because we want so badly to look as easy going and effortless as these ridiculously involved constructs appear to be.

5.            It makes sense that women hate this. Of course we are going to overly self-objectify when this is the only socially acceptable time to display body parts we are taught to hide. These are clothes that borderline on what is considered shameful or inappropriate nudity, parts we rarely expose and that are hyper-sexualized making them intensely personal. OF course it’s going to drive us nuts. It doesn’t help that shitty designs and glossy photos of chimeras make us feel even worse.

I’m not going to end this with some rant about how we need to learn to love ourselves more. It’s not like our society is going to change overnight and regardless of magazine photos, I’m always going to be hypercritical of myself in every way–not just my appearance. In short most women are: lumpy, oddly shaped and going to hyperventilate at the very thought of entering a fitting room to try on bathing suits but there is a bright side.  According to this study it turns out we feel FAR more self-conscious about these blasted suits when we’re trying them on than when we’re actually running around wearing them. Do yourself a favor and stop focusing so much on how they look and rather if they feel like they fit and then get the hell out of that 3by3 foot room of horrors without a second glance in the fun-house mirror. Kind of like how these muffins taste and contain tons of delicious goodness once you get past the lumpy orange appearance, so too will your summer once you get past the bathing suit “rite of passage”.  At least that’s the theory.

Carrot Spice Muffins
from Baking: From My Home to Yours by Dorie Greenspan Read more

May 9

National Butterscotch Brownie Day

Well okay, I sort of cheated as these are Blondies and not Brownies. Honestly I’m not sure what butterscotch brownies are supposed to be. The idea of a thick brownie with butterscotch in it makes me feel kind of sick—way too much sugar. It’s possible that the holiday could call for brownies made with a homemade butterscotch mixture in place of the melted chocolate but then again, you’d wind up with something I think is technically qualified as a “Blondie” so I’m just going to run with this.

This recipe throws butterscotch (obviously), dark chocolate, coconut and walnuts together to make a delicious treat as chewy as a brownie but with the chocolate taking the role of a team player rather than the dominate force. Damn it, I was trying not to write about this but you know what all this just makes me think of? The Avengers. You know because of how there are 4 big flavors that unite in this bar to make something that explodes in your mouth? No? Too tenuous a segue? Tough beans buddy ‘cause that’s the way it’s gonna be! (Seriously does anyone catch on to how many lines I’ve cannibalized from film in my daily speech?)

To be fair almost anything is making me think of Marvel’s newest, record breaking film because it is just that damn good. It’s “Olivia is going to shell out money to see it multiple times in theatres” good and that almost never happens. I think the last film I saw more than once was Inglorious Basterds and that wasn’t the cause of nearly as much jubilation to my inner geek as Avengers is. Basterds was an amazing film with respect to film geekery but this movie hits me in a much more childish, nostalgic place by paying the utmost care to faithful translation of the comics to screen. If you are a marvel universe kid this movie is going to make you insanely happy.

Hulk is probably the biggest crowd pleaser in the film. That line alone thrills me to my finger tips because saying it means the movie either had to SUCK worse than Daredevil or be on par with DC’s best effort to date. Okay obviously that’s Dark Knight, do I even need to say it? Anyway the reason Hulk being a crowd pleaser could spell out badness is that he is impossible to do well in film. The character is a monster, he should terrify even the good guys and his entire premise of turning into a not so jolly green giant requires far more suspension of reality than any of the other Avengers team members. Despite my intense love and faith in Joss I wasn’t exactly sanguine about Hulk working in this movie. Oh but he does. The character was written and played out with just the right blend of humor and fear. As it was later put to me, the reason he could work well in this movie is that the Hulk finally had characters he could physically interact with that were strong enough to take the hit (i.e. Thor and giant aliens) without needing to create a second Hulk. These were also contrasted against characters like Black Widow that would be killed by a single blow and who, in an expertly crafted early scene, displayed exactly the right amount of terror at the mere thought of the monster.

If you don’t understand why they should be afraid of the Hulk, go read Ultimates Avengers which is loosely the version these movies are based on. Hulk EATS a person. Cannibalizes him. Hulk is fucking scary okay?
The other big challenge is having so many characters, big important players, and not having it feel crowded. Who can forget the clusterfuck that was Spiderman 3? There were too many villains and no one got the screen time or development they deserved. Spiderman was my greatest comic love as a child so this movie was particularly frustrating for me. How in the world were we going to have a film work with 4 huge comic heroes and 3 supporting heroes? You know how? You get Joss “I’m a genius at ensemble cast writing” Whedon. Buffy, Angel, Dollhouse, Firefly…Joss manages to create shows where there’s an entire cast that serves as a star, rather than just one central figure. He did it again. Everyone gets an amazing line, everyone delivers it perfectly and everyone is a puzzle piece that fits together to create a bigger picture.

The one flaw, the one somewhat big flaw, is that ScarJo plays the MOST American “Russian” spy I’ve ever seen. In spite of that, and because she manages to pull out a better performance than I thought possible for her…gravitational talents, the movie works marvel-ously. See what I did there?

So I’m going back for second and third helpings, first of these addictive butterscotch blondies and then a less fattening cinematic feast.

Chewy, Chunky Blondies Read more

Apr 27

Driving Me Nut-ella

I am almost completely out of debt. It’s a fantastic feeling to be only 1.5 years graduated and know that by the time I’m 2 years out, I’ll have 0 debt left. Even better to know that I’ve managed to procure work (none of it permanent employment but still) when so many are struggling to find even a job at a Starbucks with a degree. I’m even getting to do work that matters, helping run clinical trials to cure cancer. So you know, I’m grateful and quite thankful for what I’ve got. I want you to know this before I start whining.

You know that saying “you can’t go home again”? Well that’s not entirely true. You definitely CAN go home again. It’s why I’ll be out of debt so fast. Living at home for the last 6 months has done wonders for me. It’s also been one of the most challenging things I ever could have done in my adult life. Sure you can go home, the question really is, well two-fold question is: 1) Do you want to and 2) Should you? The answer to question 1 is pretty obvious for any independent young adult – NO. The second is trickier. It really depends on family dynamics.

Two days ago I was PISSED at my brother who, I realize, is 16 and therefore his brain is overly burdened with teenage hormones. See I made this “Mexican Lasagna” for dinner and then went to Yoga. Now keep in mind the recipe I’m sharing with you today is NOT for this and you’ll find out why in a minute.

When I came home the horde (i.e. Stepdad and two teenage boys) had descended and all that was left was one piece. I was exhausted from doing my 26 sweaty postures in a 105 degree room and had little appetite. I decided to save my final piece for the next day to take some snapshots and have as breakfast. It was the very last piece and as anyone who has lived in a roommate situation, the last piece of anything is sacred.

Well 16 year old boys apparently don’t know this. My last piece became a 2AM fridge raid for a certain adrenaline/testosterone driven garbage can that is masquerading as a human boy. The reason I was most angry about discovering this last bit was gone in the morning was that I had literally not consumed a single piece of what I made. I went so far as to provide dinner for the family and didn’t get to even TRY it to find out how it was, what needs improvement, if there was too much salt… and god help any of them if they comment on how it tasted to me. True I want to know, but hearing praise or criticism on a dish I never tasted is not helpful and, call it my own irrationality, but frankly hearing that when this happened will probably only serve to piss me off.

Question number 2: Should you move home again? Well with respect to my finances the answer is a resounding yes and while I’m sure my mom wouldn’t believe it, I do actually love my family (most of the time) and I do like getting to see them. With respect to my food blogging however, moving home is probably the worst thing I could have done. Something akin to slathering yourself with bloody raw meat and parading naked around the serengeti at high noon.

In honor of our families who have the amazing ability to drive us crazy, here are my Hazel-Nutella Cupcakes. Delicious but nutty.  They keep for about 2 days in theory.  I wouldn’t know.  I nommed mine in about an hour.  Lesson learned my friends.

Hazel-Nutella Cupcakes
Recipe from The Whimsical BakeHouse

  • 4 ounces unsalted butter
  • 1.5 cups brown sugar
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1.75 cups AP Flour
  • ½ tsp salt
  • ½ tsp baking soda
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1 ¼ cups sour cream
  • 1 cup toasted, crushed hazelnuts

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and prep 2 cupcake tins with wrappers or lightly grease each cup and dust very lightly with flour.

Bring the butter to room temperature and in the bowl of a mixer beat the butter and brown sugar on high for 2-3 minutes until light and fluffy. Lower the speed to medium-high and add in the eggs one at a time making sure to scrape down the sides of your mixer as you do.

In a separate bowl sift together the flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt. Alternate adding 1/3 of this mixture into the egg batter with 1/3 of the sour cream and repeat until all the ingredients have been combined. Add the toasted hazelnuts and mix in by hand.

Fill the cupcake tins about ¾ of the way full and bake for about 30 minutes or until a cupcake passes the toothpick test. Remove from the oven and cool.

I filled my cupcakes with a blend of home whipped cream and nutella and topped them with a creamy vanilla buttercream.

Apr 23

National Cherry Cheesecake Day

Oh Picnic Day.  The magical holiday at my alma mater where undergraduates, graduate students and post-grads are all united by the excessive consumption of fermented grains and sugars.  Groups wander the campus, downtown and house parties under the guise of celebrating Davis but really the weekend feels like a Dionysian embrace of the spring equinox.  Picnic day isn’t actually on the equinox, but it always seems to correspond to the exact time that the weather turns and girls don their sun dresses and bikinis.  It’s supposed to be raucous fun but most years I always felt like the day was a colossal let down.  My very first picnic day was spent indoors depressed and then finished taking a friend to the police station and hospital after she was taken advantage of.  Several of the years following I wound up taking care of those who partied too much and one year I was sick with my usual spring bronchitis.  Basically it always seemed like other people managed to have good Greek fun and I was somehow always playing nursemaid and navigating drama.

This year, and last year actually, were much improved.  Last year was a great time with my apartment building flat mates and a decent party we managed to throw.  This year I got to spend time with a boy and his friends and actually enjoy it.  Boyfriends of picnic day past never worked out well, so this was a welcome change.  The downside was that I completely missed spending time with a long missed friend of mine the following day because I was up until 5 AM Sunday morning playing card games and watching youtube videos about how much better star wars episode 1 could have been.  (If you haven’t seen this video, watch it, it will blow your mind Star Wars Episode I Could Have Been Good)  As a result I didn’t get out of bed and function as a human being until 4PM on Sunday and missed her completely.

In order to ensure that picnic day started off as awesome as I want it to be, and not just as awesome as it supposedly is, I brought my secret weapon.  Cheesecake.  The dessert I probably fall back on most because it is the first thing I really ever learned to make on my own aside from grilled cheese and omelets.

Others: You started with cheesecake?!  Are you crazy?  Those things intimidate the hell out of home chefs.

Me: Go big or go home…without cheesecake.  

I’m sure I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again: Cheesecake is painfully easy to make.  It’s very few ingredients, and so long as you bring everything to room temperature and mix your batter properly you will have a delicious result.  If you don’t care about presentation (i.e. you don’t mind if the top cracks) you will have an even easier time.  If you DO then it’s still pretty simple: WATER BATH.

Since I knew today was going to be National Cherry Cheesecake Day, I decided to go with a classic towering New York Cheesecake and top it with whipped cream and cherries.  So simple and since you are topping the cheesecake, you really can skip the water bath if you are so inclined.  Any cracks that your cheesecake develops will be smothered by delicious, tart gems.

Classic Cherry Cheesecake Read more

Apr 18

Curry it Along

Hello, my name is Olivia and I’m a neurotic perfectionist. They say admitting the problem is the first step. I’m not going to sit there and spend 30 minutes straightening a painting mind you, and I’ve certainly “decorated” cakes that looked like a 2 year old did it. No I don’t always take it quite that far but I do have what are considered “unreasonably high standards” that I set for myself. As such I tend to catalog and replay, for no reason at all, every time I’ve failed to meet that standard or live up to what I know my full potential is. I practically have a full NFL commentary running on each incident.

It sucks.

Of course this need to be my absolute best is what drives me, at my best, and can completely freeze me up at my worst. There were several years of depression where I literally could not function because I was stuck in this zone of spiraling failure that my brain had predetermined every event outcome to be. While the down side is debilitating, ultimately this attitude is the engine for my bottom line: “I Make It Happen.” Now this bottom line gets me into trouble sometimes because I will forgo convention, and occasionally unintentionally hurt feelings in my quest to get something finished. I’m a fairly considerate person and so it’s usually a round-about stepping on toes. Mostly because I just have no patience for things I perceive to be “time wasters” and would rather see something get done correctly myself than leave it up to someone else if it results in a lot of wasted time explaining things.

Let me try to explain from a recent example. If standard protocol dictates I follow a set order that makes it impossible to complete my end goal on time I will improvise, manage or generally do whatever it takes to find an alternate route. If this means I pick up the slack where other people are failing, I do it, usually without complaint because my only concern is making sure I get the job done. I really don’t get upset if it means I put something together that normally a vendor or teammate would do. In the process the person being displaced can feel made useless, ignored or worse if a superior, undermined. That’s never my intention and I have discovered I need to be more aware of this in the future. I’m just used to a “no excuses, make it happen” mindset.

I once tried to use an excuse to get out of something deliberately as a child. It is always stuck in my mind as the 4th grade ruler incident. I had some math homework I didn’t feel like finishing and I was cutting corners so I could go play outside. One question called for a ruler and since I couldn’t find one in the house, I didn’t bother with the problem. In class the next day I was called on to answer that question. I shot my teacher a shit eating grin and replied that since I didn’t own a ruler at home I couldn’t have done the problem. I loved this teacher. Basically every child in my school worshipped her.

She turned an icy gaze on me and told me that was no excuse and walked on. I felt disgusted with myself. I was mad at myself for letting her down and even angrier still at myself because I knew she was right. I could have figured something out, or at least put some sort of work into the problem. I tried my hand at the idea that it was the world’s fault and found it just wasn’t for me. I remember this incident of course, because I remember every time I have ever felt that deep twinge of disappointment in myself for failure to live up to what I know I could do. I just wish this same positive force didn’t have the power to freeze me, shut me down and make me feel fatalistic when I fail.

This is a fantastic recipe that comes together pretty quickly on a weeknight for those with a need to overdo it.  The recipe is made with coconut milk and coconut cream (think of it as a reduced coconut milk) but keep in mind that coconut milk isn’t actually dairy but be sure to check the label in case your company mixes in milk.  Making this the most vegan, lactose-intolerant delicious parve meal ever.  Can’t find coconut cream?  It’s easy to make from coconut milk–simple pour a second batch into a glass, refrigerate and allow the fats to separate.  What rises to the top is your coconut cream.  Keep in mind this is also really more of a fall recipe when there are bountiful sweet pumpkins for sale at the market.  Unfortunately I haven’t applied my work ethic to this blog as of yet and I’m sitting on a backlog of recipes I never put together or blog posts I never wrote.  I’m attempting to change this in the coming weeks.

Do or Do Not.   Damn okay I should say attempting, I should say AM changing this week.  Yoda is no friend to half-assed blogging attempts.

 Creamy Pumpkin and Cashew Curry Read more

Apr 17

Plain Vanilla ?

This has been a pretty tame week for me so far. At least if feels slow after a month of some BIG meetings at work to handle. There are a lot of logistics to handle when planning these meetings and it can be very time consuming. I even go so far as to dream about work during these times because I’m so terrified of anything going wrong that apparently my subconscious needs to deal with it.

Which means I’m incredibly grateful to people who help ease my mind and while many of my coworkers all do their parts, it’s the IT department that blows me away. I always end up with some amazing, sweet guy who goes above and beyond the call of duty. I will put in a request for these meetings to have a rep come out early, far earlier than any Moss or Roy would want to, and check up on the systems. Despite not asking for additional support throughout the day they will email or even physically show up to check in with me and see if everything is going smoothly. One guy accidentally knocked over a cup of fruit and nuts I had at my desk and emailed the next day asking if I wanted him to replace them.

This morning I needed to move a heavy set of tables out of the way and the IT guy jumped up and started pushing. I had placed a request in with the facilities crew but wasn’t given a guarantee they would make it so this was beyond remarkable to me. Physical labor not exactly in either of our job descriptions but we got the job done. It’s such a small thing but it means a lot to me.

Whatever the reason, these guys remind me a lot of vanilla. It’s such a key background player and yet gets overlooked by non-bakers. Vanella seems like a default to most people who aren’t aware of just how important it is to developing flavor in almost anything you bake. The bean can have a variety of flavors and while cheap vanilla imitation can be found, the really good stuff often ends up being that ingredient that no one notices but you’ll find that without it, the flavor never comes together.

Vanilla Ice Cream (with Blackberry Preserves)
by Dorie Greenspanin Baking from My Home to Yours

  • 2 cups whole milk
  • 2 cups heavy cream
  • 1 moist, plump vanilla bean, split and scraped,(technique) or 1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
  • 6 large egg yolks
  • 3/4 cup sugar
  • Blackberry Preserves for topping (or any other delicious nom you want!)

Bring milk and cream to a boil in a large heavy-bottomed saucepan. If you are using a vanilla bean, put the seeds and pod into the pan, cover and set aside for 30 minutes, then bring the milk and cream back to a boil before continuing. If you are using vanilla extract, wait until later to add it.

Meanwhile, in a medium bowl, whisk the yolks and sugar together until very well blended and just slightly thickened. Still whisking, drizzle in about one third of the hot liquid-this will temper, or warm the eggs so they won’t curdle. Whisking all the while, slowly pour in the remaining liquid. Pour the custard back into the pan and cook over medium heat, stirring without stopping, until the custard thickens slightly and coats the back of a spoon; if you run your finger down the bowl of the spoon, the custard should not run into the track. The custard should reach at least 170°F, but no more than 180°F, on an instant-read thermometer. Immediately remove the pan from the heat and strain the custard into a 2-quart measuring cup or clean heatproof bowl. Discard the vanilla pod or if you are using vanilla extract, stir it in now.

Refrigerate the custard until chilled before churning it into the ice cream.

Scrape the chilled custard in the bowl of an ice cream maker and churn according to the manufacturer’s instructions. If you want to add fruit preserves add them in at the end when the ice cream starts to look like soft serve. Pack the ice cream into a container and freeze it for at least 2 hours, until it is firm enough to scoop.

Makes about 1 quart.

Serving: If the ice cream is very firm, allow it to sit on the counter for a few minutes before scooping or warm it in a microwave oven using 5-second spurts of heat.

Storing: Packed tightly in a covered container, the ice cream will keep in the freezer about 2 weeks

Apr 5

Home Sick & Going Bananas

I’ve been home sick the last two days.

It sucks. Hard so I figured I may as well get my taxes done. Get all the bullshit out of the way when I’m feeling like crap. It’s definitely an activity for rainy days or times when you’re miserable.

I really frelling hate getting sick. One day I sat down, did the math, and realized I’ve been sick for 20% of my life. Compare that to the estimated 33% you spend in a lifetime sleeping or the 25% the average adult spends sleeping if they get 6 hours a night. Getting a better picture? Or just imagine dedicating approximately 5 hours of your day to being ill, maybe that will help. Basically: I’ve been sick a lot. Consequently I hate it with a passion reserved only for taxes, edits to the original star wars films and people who abuse their animals.

Still I’ve been healthier in the past 6 months or so than I have been in the last few years, and healthier the last two years than my average so I guess I’m improving. I should be thankful. I’m cranky about it because I lost valuable baking time before the onset of Passover this Friday night. I had plans to use up some chametz damn it!


I also find myself wanting to write about ranty subjects. Things like how I resent being presented with “tests” to prove my geekiness to doubting men or how my mom’s dog needs training and TOTALLY reminds me of salacious b crumb. (Sorry Mom!) Or superficial rants about how I haven’t worked out in days and feel flabby, fat and lazy. I wonder sometimes if people pick up on all the phrases I use in daily speech that are appropriate from films, books and video games…..

Anyway instead of being a total downer while I sniffle and whine, how about some cheery Banana Bundt cakes? I used a mini bundt pan that prepares the cakes in the shape of flowers. Now excuse me while I go grumblebake in the corner.

Classic Banana Bundt Cake
Page 190, Baking: From My Home to Yours.

Ingredients: Makes 1 Bundt Cake (14 servings)

  • 3 cups all-purpose flour
  • 2 teaspoons baking soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 2 sticks (8 ounces) unsalted butter, at room temperature
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 2 teaspoons pure vanilla  extract
  • 2 large eggs, preferably  at room temperature
  • About 4 very ripe bananas, mashed (you should have 1 1/2 – 1 3/4 cups)
  • 1 cup sour cream or plain yogurt

Center a rack in the oven and preheat to 350 degrees F. Generously butter a 9- to 10-inch (12 cup) Bundt pan. (If you use a silicone Bundt pan there’s no need to butter it.) Don’t place the pan on a baking sheet – you want the oven’s heat to circulate through the Bundt’s inner tube.

Whisk the flour, baking soda and salt together.

Working with a stand mixer, preferably fitted with a paddle attachment, or with a hand mixer in a large bowl, beat the butter until creamy. Add the sugar and beat at medium speed until pale and fluffy. Beat in the vanilla, then add the eggs one at a time, beating for about 1 minute after each egg goes in. Reduce the mixer speed to low and mix in the bananas. Finally, mix in half the dry ingredients (don’t be disturbed when the batter curdles), all the sour cream and then the rest of the flour mixture. Scrape the batter into the pan, rap the pan on the counter to debubble the batter and smooth the top.

Bake for 65 to 75 minutes, or until a thin knife inserted deep into the center of the cake comes out clean. Check the cake after about 30 minutes – if it is browning too quickly, cover it loosely with a foil tent. Transfer the cake to a rack and cool for 10 minutes before unmolding onto the rack to cool to room temperature.

If you’ve got the time, wrap the cooled cake in plastic and allow it to sit on the counter overnight before serving – it’s better the next day.

Apr 2

Muffin Monday: National Peanut Butter and Jelly-time

Happy Peanut Butter and Jelly Day! Did you know that it’s estimated the average American child will eat 1,500 PB&J sandwiches before graduating high school? It’s such a childhood staple and yet a fairly recent one in the grand scheme of things. Sliced bread and peanut butter weren’t really available until early 1900 and no mention of PB&J exists before 1940. It seems that most attribute the creation of the sandwich to World War II as a result of food rationing or a creation of cheap, high fat and protein meals for soldiers abroad. A far cry from childhood lunchboxes I think. Still even adults love having one of these occasionally and who can blame them? It’s delicious! I decided to dress up the childhood classic as a Monday Muffin that even a grown up can enjoy without feeling stuck back in a grade school cafeteria.

Since the topic today is things we still love from childhood, can I talk a little bit about Once Upon a Time last night? I know the BIG deal in television last night was the return of Game of Thrones, which was amazing btw, but can I complain a bit about this other show instead?

Just like my muffins, there are a lot of things adults love to revamp and “grow up” from childhood. Why else would a show based on fairy tales like Grimm or Once Upon a Time make it on tv? Unfortunately I feel that Once Upon a Time falls short of its true potential much of the timel. It has some good, even amazing moments, like any scene with Robert Carlyle, but the major storyline feels very cliche and meandering to me lately. It doesn’t help that I’m comparing it to some amazing fairy tale adaptations like Fables.

My major complaint at the moment is the direction the story went last night. I’m not upset by the idea that Regina’s mother tried to force her daughter into a marriage for status. It’s a pretty standard/overplayed story but I can handle that. Some things are classics for a reason. What bothers me is that Regina is played up to be fairly intelligent, highly manipulative and clever—all necessary qualities for a truly sinister, evil queen. Still would a woman that smart have a calm conversation with her mother who just KILLED the man she loved in front of her while plotting to kill the child who was manipulated by the same woman? Come on.

Frankly I’m a little disappointed that this is just about Regina’s true love being murdered and the blame falling quite loosely on Snow. I would have been much happier to see a deeper story in work here, something that helps develop why Regina adopted Henry. I kept thinking that somehow we’d find out Snow was responsible for a miscarriage or the death of Regina’s own child. I couldn’t help thinking this is how I would have changed last night’s episode to make it a bit more interesting AND make Regina’s adoption of Henry make a little more sense.

Regina’s mother kills the love of her life in front of her and Snow, and while Regina is angry Snow revealed her secret, she can see that her mother manipulated the situation. A child can’t be held responsible for being unable to handle her mother’s head games. Regina proceeds with the marriage and spends years learning magic from her mother (obviously what happens next in the show) purely to find a way to get revenge against mommy dearest. Through a decade or so of study Regina discovers that there is a powerful form on blood magic that can let you sacrifice a life to bring back another when the sacrifice is the murderer of the latter individual. It requires the heart of the murderer.

So Regina kills mom, brings back boyfriend etc etc but at this point she’s gotten used to being Queen and doesn’t want to give it up. The years of magic and act of the murder changed her and Regina definitely wants power. Instead of running away with the man she loves, she tries to keep him around and have a secret affair. Regina winds up pregnant and is passing the child off as the King’s. That is until one day when Snow finds Regina and the Stable Boy again.

Only Snow is aware the Stable Boy died and freaks out when she walks in on them. She threatens to tell her father and also questions Regina how she could have brought Stable Boy back from the dead. Regina attacks Snow and the Stable Boy, finally seeing the evil that has blossomed in Regina, is disgusted and tells her he doesn’t love her. She isn’t the woman he originally fell for and walks away. Snow then rushes off to tell her father, leaving an emotionally and magically charged Regina to have a miscarriage and lose the child of the man she loves. The queen gets brought in before Snow has a chance to tell her father the truth, and feeling partially responsible, Snow decides to keep the secret this time to spare Regina further agony but they are by no means on good terms. The Stable Boy makes one last appearance and tells Regina he doesn’t love her and now without their child, there is nothing to bind him to her and that he wants to start his life anew and not to look for him.

This time Regina DOES blame Snow and since she believes Snow to be responsible for the murder of her unborn child, the hunt to get her heart to bring it back from the dead begins…. (This could all take place shortly before the story line with Mr. Glass whom Regina uses to free herself from her husband.)

Of course the attempt to get her heart fails and you can have a whole plot line surrounding Regina discovering that the magic won’t work to revive her unborn child (perhaps because Snow didn’t directly kill her baby) so she has to devise an alternate method of revenge against Snow. This would also tie in nicely to Regina desiring to have a child and perhaps make her adoption of Henry seem a little more human/sympathetic. There could also be an element where part of the curse was that Snow would lose her child to Regina, but that because the closet manage to shield Emma from the curse, it was transferred to HER child which is why Regina wound up with Henry out of any child in the world.

Sorry guys, somehow my recipe for the epic childhood favorite PB&J turned into a fanfic outline. WHOOPS. Anyway here’s my original recipe for some yummy muffins. They aren’t too sweet so if you want more of a sweet/cupcake vibe add extra sugar and some peanut butter baking chips. <3 O
Peanut Butter & Jelly Muffin-time
Recipe from my kitchen Read more

Mar 20

Barramundi: Healthy Earth, Healthy Body, Healthy Mind (Think Thin Tuesday!)

I’ve been making a lot of healthy strides for myself in the last year or so. I have focused my OCPD into creating a strong and disciplined work ethic. I’ve been eating a diet reduced in sugars and refined carbohydrates to complement an effort toward eating local, organic foods. While socially it’s still quite hard to do this, and I often have to break the habit to enjoy group dining dynamics, when I eat alone I focus on it. Sometimes in groups I’ll go vegetarian for the meal since I really hate eating big industry raised meat. I’ve also developed a fairly regular running regimen and have been going to yoga almost on schedule. The last few weeks have been hectic at work and yoga was sacrificed a bit.

So to honor my body and mind I’m going to force myself back in that hot Bikram room and provide you with a healthy recipe that utilizes foods available in winter and sustainable fish. Barramundi is a fish of particular interest to me and when I found this recipe in one of my magazines I was very excited. It can be a challenge to find this fish, especially US Farmed but if you can make the hunt, it is well worth it.

Aquaculture, i.e. fish farming, is a commercial practice and not always the cleanest, healthiest or greenest way to fish. The more traditional practice is actually a haven for disease as they are essentially insecure nettings along the coastline. Shrimp farms in particular have been destructive of Indonesian coasts; they use up the nutrients in the environment, leave a toxin build up and move on. There are issues with waste management, overuse of antibiotics and since many fish are carnivorous, there is the issue of needing to also supply additional fish as feed.

Of particular interest to me however is the concept of vertical, indoor recirculating systems for raising fish. Why? These indoor tank systems allow us to grow healthy fish through a variety of ways. Clean, controlled water means no mercury exposure and no need to pump antibiotics in the system. Recirculation and filtration means water gets recycled and most of the waste (entirely organic waste too!) can be used to create compost. No risk of GMO fish escaping into the wild since the tanks are self contained. Plus we need to understand all the details of each breed’s particular life cycle so it creates a market for marine biologists. Industry that actually encourages academic, scientific pursuit! Not to mention that once the start up costs of research and creating the business have been recouped, the fish are actually cheaper to produce.

Barramundi has been a fish of interest for this form of aquaculture. Unlike most other carnivorous fish, Barramundi are able to synthesize Omega-3 fatty acids from plant life making a primarily vegetarian diet (and thus reduction in feed costs) possible. They have a better Omega 6/Omega 3 balance than Tilapia and grow in freshwater. Salt-water based fish are still a challenge to vertical aquaculture as they require much more study to create ideal artificial growth environments. If you are interested in this fish check out http://www.thebetterfish.com/home the website for Australis. The only thing I don’t like about this option is that the only US based farm I know of is in Massachusetts so my food has to travel a while to get to me. Hopefully the company will do well, the model will catch on and more vertical aquaculture will rise up on the west coast.

As always if you are interested in sustainable fish be sure to go to the Monterey Bay Aquarium website for up to date listings of what to eat, what to eat sparingly and what to avoid. http://www.montereybayaquarium.org/cr/SeafoodWatch/web/sfw_regional.aspx

Roasted Farm-Raised Barramundi with Fennel and Orange

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